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Old 09-30-2017, 03:18 PM   #4
Neil Allen
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This is an interesting looking comic. The thing about black and white comics, especially ones without any gray toning or very little, is that it can be hard at times to tell what is going on. So, as an artist, it's good to take extra care that what is being put down on paper is easy to follow.

That fly character on the top panel on the third page can stand out a lot more. To me eye, he's kind of getting lost in the busy background. If that word balloon wasn't coming from him, I don't think I'd know what he was supposed to be. I think detail and line weight are the areas to work on to make things in situations like that easier to understand. Perhaps give the fly a bolder outline and make it more detailed, and maybe make the background less detailed.

Also, it may be a good idea to practice drawing/inking water. I can tell what it's supposed to be in the comic, but it doesn't look all that representative here, even for a cartoony style. It's something I had to look up and I'm not saying I'm an ultimate master at it. It can be tricky, especially since it can be so varied.
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