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Old 07-03-2018, 11:19 PM   #5
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 66
Proter is on a distinguished road

Hi I haven't posted in a little bit and I'm not a professional.

I thought I'd provide feedback as a reader.

I'm not sure if the first couple of pages are necessary if you're going to kill off the characters. I'm not sure if it adds anything to the story.

I don't think you have to show the monster at first. Let the reader use their imagination and when the reveal happens they should still be interested.

I think it's good you discussed that the monster was vicious but intelligent in a sadistic sense.

I just want to reiterate that I'm a casual reader but I try to provide some constructive feedback. I think you should keep fleshing out the story.
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