Pitching for anthologies

[jrod]

I have a bit of experience in this arena so I figured I'd start this thread. I haven't hung around DW for some time so for those of you who don't know me, here's my brief bio:

My first comics gig was as the submissions editor (and full editor starting with issue 3) for WESTERN TALES OF TERROR. The book ran from 2004-2005 and was published by a little label called Hoarse & Buggy Productions. Every issue featured a handful of headliners (Steve Niles, Phil Hester, Tom Mandrake, Tony Moore, etc), a handful of up-and-comers, and one story from a previously unpublished writer. We received a TON of submissions every week for the unpublished writer slot and I learned a lot about what makes a pitch good and what makes it...well...unreadable. My second anthology was the Eisner and Harvey nominated POSTCARDS: TRUE STORIES THAT NEVER HAPPENED. For that book I followed the same exact format (with headliners like Harvey Pekar, Tom Beland, and Phil Hester), up-and-comers (like our own Chris Stevens), and one story slotted for open submissions. Once again, the response was tremendous - who wouldn't want to be in a book that had Harvey Pekar and was going to be published by Random House, after all. And once again, my method of telling bad pitches from good ones had improved. As far as anthologies go, I've written for THE HORROR'S OF WAR (available at SPX this year!) and the SHEAR TERROR ANTHOLOGY, both published by little groups with big talent. And I'll be doing a story for this upcoming DW anthology as well - mine is the Pinocchio one from the solicitation.

In addition to my anthology work, I teach WRITING FOR COMICS AND GRAPHIC NOVELS at the Bethesda Writer's Center and I'll be teaching a PITCHING YOU BOOK class at the Arlington Adult Education Center starting in January.

I like to pitch, in other words. And even though I've been focusing more on feature-length graphic novels lately I love, love, love anthologies. So I'll be posting some bits in this thread, answering questions, and offering some constructive criticism on some of the pitches that pop-up for this anthology.

I hope this is useful to some of you. If you don't want me commenting on your pitch because you hate being helped, please PM me and I'll take down whatever I've written.

[Phatman]

I pitched half a season for the Anthologies before I got moved down to AA ball. Good times.

[Dan Hill]

One of my biggest weaknesses is pitching or writing a synopsis. I find it hard to cut away the needless fluff and still get the essence of the story across. It's funny because when it comes to actually cutting or fixing needless fluff in a script it feels easy (therapeutic even!).

I look forward to hearing your comments and feedback.

[jrod]

Originally Posted by Dan Hill

One of my biggest weaknesses is pitching or writing a synopsis. I find it hard to cut away the needless fluff and still get the essence of the story across. It's funny because when it comes to actually cutting or fixing needless fluff in a script it feels easy (therapeutic even!).

I look forward to hearing your comments and feedback.

I can't really make any comments on your story since Chris hasn't commented yet and that would be rude of me. I can make some comments on the structure of your pitch, however...

SID (a scarred battle android who has seen better days), finds himself in the possession of William T Billington, the worlds richest man. Here amidst his huge collection he spies Daisy, a deactivated entertainment droid. It’s love at first sight. However,Troll, Billington’s mutant manservant warns SID that Daisy is his and his alone. SID, over come with love, is defiant and Troll orders him to be taken away by those who found him. These fortune hunters, unable to tell SID, dump him into the vast sewer network. Here SID comes across strange mutant creatures, caused by the fallout from the Android Rebellion, before being washed out into the ‘Big Stink’. A helpless SID is soon swallowed by a huge mutant whale. Going into hibernation mode SID is shocked to awake hours later,cut from the whale's stomach and back amongst Billington’s collection (which apparently extends to aquatic life too). Just then Billington arrives, ordering all of the droids to be melted down for an art piece he has commissioned. Amidst the flames SID musters the last of his battery power for a first and final dance with Daisy. A week later Billington unveils his commission, a metallic sculpture in the shape of a heart.

Now I know you said you cut this down but this is incredibly long for an anthology pitch. Any pitch for any publication should have a log-line followed by the expansion of your log-line into a "log-paragraph," of sorts, and/or the plot synopsis. For an anthology, you can really cut out the complete synopsis. An anthology story is the log-line, really, because that's all there's room for.

The log-line is your entire story in one concise sentence. It's the most important part of your pitch - if an editor is sifting through hundreds of pitches, the log-line is what gets him or her to say, "Ok, I'll read the rest of this." A lot of times the log-line can borrow well-known themes or characters from other properties ("It's the Godfather meets Star Wars") but I'm really not a fan of that, myself, even though they effectively get the story and themes across. For this project, however, you're supposed to be basing the story on existing properties so you should be using that technique. So, you know, "screw me," right?

The first line of your pitch should have been something like: "A retelling of HCA's STEADFAST TIN SOLDIER, following a decommissioned battle android's fantastic journey to win the hand of an entertainment robot."

Short and effective, that's your story. The rest of the pitch shouldn't necessarily be a beat-by-beat recap of what every single page of your story is going to be, it should expand on your log-line but paint the mood and themes of the piece. An editor needs to make sure the story thematically fits, if it's going to be a fast-paced tale that will counteract all of the introspective pieces on the line-up or if it's going to be a trippy tale to counteract all of the by-the-number, white-bread pieces in the book. We already know what your story is in that one line, now tell us HOW you're going to tell the story.

With my Pinocchio pitch (which, I have to admit, if I knew it was going to be publicly displayed I would have went a touch more formal) I set up my entire story in the first sentence and then expanded on the central idea of the plot and implied that it was going to be more of a quiet parable of meaningless human existence than an adventurous romp. That tells an editor more than, "And then he'll do this and then he'll do that and then it'll end like this."

Dig it?

[jrod]

A little more on log lines, I think they work best when they're clever and elegant. You think of Steve Niles' 30 DAYS OF NIGHT, the log line is something like, "It's a story about vampires in Alaska where there're 30 days of night." The editor may need to think about it for a moment but they'll get it and when they do it'll hit them as a fantastic concept. Then they'll give you bags with dollar signs on them.

Now take the same pitch and turn it into..."The residents of ______ are preparing their small Alaskan town for the coming 30 days of night when they begin to notice something sinister is afoot. The cell phone towers are down, people begin to disappear, cars are ravaged, and all communications to the outside world are cut-off. The sheriff locks up a stranger who's rolled into town, one who seems to know what's going on. The townsfolks eventually discovered their town has been targeted by vampires, but it's already too late - there's no way out and sun-ups a month away."

Honestly, if I got the second pitch, I'd probably pass. The pay-off isn't until the very end and it sounds like your run-of-the-mill horror and/or thriller from the start. Even if I read all the way through I'd say, "Oh, vampires, whatever." It doesn't have that same WHAM as the first pitch, where you're forcing the editor to come to the realization on his own, get a euphoric response from it - instead, you're building up to a realization and then spelling it out for him. There's no excitement in that.

So, what I'm saying is, start with the payoff.

[Dan Hill]

Thanks for taking the time to look over it and hand out some good advice.

I'm going to try and take your advice on board moving forward. I think as well that a lot of it (if not all of it) can be applied to pitches for longer form stories as well.

For longer form stories (when I've been writing practice pitches etc) I've been using a modified version of the template/layout B Clay Moore used for his Hawaiian Dick pitch. I find it really helpful for structuring the pitch and getting the pertinent details down.

But I think the advice you've given here will help me GRAB whoever is reading it rather than just ticking all the boxes synopsis wise.

Thanks!

[Nick Pitarra]

Originally Posted by jrod

A little more on log lines, I think they work best when they're clever and elegant. You think of Steve Niles' 30 DAYS OF NIGHT, the log line is something like, "It's a story about vampires in Alaska where there're 30 days of night." The editor may need to think about it for a moment but they'll get it and when they do it'll hit them as a fantastic concept. Then they'll give you bags with dollar signs on them.

Now take the same pitch and turn it into..."The residents of ______ are preparing their small Alaskan town for the coming 30 days of night when they begin to notice something sinister is afoot. The cell phone towers are down, people begin to disappear, cars are ravaged, and all communications to the outside world are cut-off. The sheriff locks up a stranger who's rolled into town, one who seems to know what's going on. The townsfolks eventually discovered their town has been targeted by vampires, but it's already too late - there's no way out and sun-ups a month away."

Honestly, if I got the second pitch, I'd probably pass. The pay-off isn't until the very end and it sounds like your run-of-the-mill horror and/or thriller from the start. Even if I read all the way through I'd say, "Oh, vampires, whatever." It doesn't have that same WHAM as the first pitch, where you're forcing the editor to come to the realization on his own, get a euphoric response from it - instead, you're building up to a realization and then spelling it out for him. There's no excitement in that.

So, what I'm saying is, start with the payoff.

Great informative post!

[JAQ]

Originally Posted by jrod

Now I know you said you cut this down but this is incredibly long for an anthology pitch. Any pitch for any publication should have a log-line followed by the expansion of your log-line into a "log-paragraph," of sorts, and/or the plot synopsis. For an anthology, you can really cut out the complete synopsis. An anthology story is the log-line, really, because that's all there's room for.

I think one reason you're seeing all of the pitches in the form of a paragraph synopsis is because the example of what the editors were looking for took that form.

[jrod]

Originally Posted by JAQ

I think one reason you're seeing all of the pitches in the form of a paragraph synopsis is because the example of what the editors were looking for took that form.

I probably wasn't entirely clear on my critique there. I meant that the synopsis part was way too long. Even if you're pitching for a long-form story, you'd rarely do a line-by-line synopsis of every event that happens in the story. I mean, you could, but it comes off as dry. You want to distill your plot into the basic elements and talk about the relevance of those elements or how those elements relate to your overall themes and story. Of course, this is my preference for pitches and I don't want to speak entirely for Chris on this one.

[jrod]

Tenn/Pitt commercial break, let's do another one.

We'll look at Jamie's LRRH pitch...

Set in late 21st Century Detroit. The city has been overrun by a feral mob known as The Wolves. An evolution of a wild street gang, over the last four decades their ranks expanded to include prominent members of the city's community. Their stranglehold has been threatened in recent weeks, however, as the suspected head of the gang has been arrested and tried for murder. The task of transporting this man from the holding cells to the maximum security prison O.M.A. (Offender Management of America) has been given to the private security firm Hood Corps and their flagship armoured truck Little Red. Fending off the expected onslaught of rescue attempts by gang members, Little Red and its small crew arrive at Oma intact, only to learn that the prison is and always has been run by senior members of The Wolves. Things look bleak until Hood Corps' private army The Woodsmen are dropped in. Turns out Hood Corps have a score to settle with The Wolves from the old days. The story ends with both sides engaging, finally re-igniting the turf war.

This one has the same structural problem as Dan's. No log-line, too long, too dry. I don't really know what the story's about - it's an action tale, that's all I got out of this.

But, another thing to mention, and this is important for themed anthologies - this is way to wink-wink. You know what I mean? There's this gang, right, and they're called the WOLVES and they're up against the HOOD Corps, right?

The problem with pitches like these - they're really not retelling the source story, they're telling a completely different story and slapping iconic names onto the main categories.

What's Little Red Riding Hood about? It's about deception and heroics. Where are any of these themes in this story? The iconic characters, the sly wolf and the frail grandmother and the naive Riding Hood and the heroic Woodsman - where are these characters? I don't get them out of the pitch.

So it's a pitch for a different book, fitted for this book. That's how it feels, at least, to me.

[maverick]

in my experience, there's no "pitching" for anthologies. You have a finished story, show them. They either like it and publish or they don't. the end.

[chris stevens]

well, maverick, no offense, but your experience really isn't holding up here.
and i would advise anyone reading this not to follow that 'advice', whether it's for this project or any other project.

good stuff in here, thanks, jason.

[maverick]

Originally Posted by chris stevens

well, maverick, no offense, but your experience really isn't holding up here.

Not exactly sure what that's supposed to mean, but you come across as a total prick.

I have in fact had 11 shorts published in various anthologies, and three have been picked up to be reprinted in another anthology.

I'll use Negative Burn as one example. Joe Pruett, Desperado's editor, won't consider anything unless it completely finished, including lettering.

Most publishers want finished material before they make any commitments.

I always assumed it was because eager and flaky creators get all riled up and pitch some great idea but fail to follow through, leaving many a published to get burned once it's time to actually go to print.

I sat in on Zenescope's panel at Wizard World. Even they said that they require at least one fully completed issue before they will even consider picking up a title or not.

[jrod]

Originally Posted by maverick

Not exactly sure what that's supposed to mean, but you come across as a total prick.

I have in fact had 11 shorts published in various anthologies, and three have been picked up to be reprinted in another anthology.

I'll use Negative Burn as one example. Joe Pruett, Desperado's editor, won't consider anything unless it completely finished, including lettering.

Most publishers want finished material before they make any commitments.

I always assumed it was because eager and flaky creators get all riled up and pitch some great idea but fail to follow through, leaving many a published to get burned once it's time to actually go to print.

I sat in on Zenescope's panel at Wizard World. Even they said that they require at least one fully completed issue before they will even consider picking up a title or not.

That's probably true but I still think a lot of editors would appreciate a pitch before saying, "OK, let's see what you got."

Of course, I'm talking about circumstances where there's a pre-established relationship with the editor which, again, in this case is what we're dealing with.

Even when working with headliners on the books I've edited it always started with, "Here's my idea." And I only worked with people I knew would get the job done and there were deadlines for script, roughs, etc - we've dropped or delayed people in the past if they weren't going to get things done in time.

I think for themed anthologies, particularly, pitching is an important part.

[jrod]

Dan Hill asked me if I have any advice about pitching things other than anthologies. I told him that the rules kind of remain the same, in my mind: log-line, expansion of themes and concepts, synopsis (although, as I said in the thread, I don't think a complete synopsis is necessary for an anthology pitch).

But with a full-length book, I think you need to put a lot more confidence into your packaging, as well. I've shared this before but I'll share it again, my pitch for POSTCARDS. I had a phone conversation with my eventual editor at Random House, he loved the concept and wanted a pitch to sell to his bosses. So I put together a pitch that was designed to sell the concept of the book but also sell the vision and the creators. It wasn't hard to do, a couple of hours with photoshop, but I put together a pitch that was designed to be a quick read but a complete picture of what this book is about. Feel free to look at it, I won't get into specifics but it nabbed us a substantial advance, probably one that was too big for the first in a series of anthologies, honestly.

The pitch.

But there's something to learn here - don't just hand over bland, white paper to a publisher if you don't have to. Include something that'll make it pop, even if that something is scanned images and a basic layout. Make it stand out, visually, from that stack of papers sitting in front of him or her. I do a lot of marketing for my day job, so I guess that's kind of where I'm coming from, but your concept needs to jump out at editors. It's a visual medium, after all, and you should make them SEE your vision for the book, not just read about it.