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View Full Version : My first web-comic. Feedback appreciated.


James Mulholland
03-01-2014, 06:49 PM
Hey everyone,

I finally posted my first web-comic onto the net. It's 6 pages long (7 inc cover). If you have 5 minutes it would be great if you could give it a read. Any feedback, positive or negative would be appreciated. -

http://Shortstories.webcomic.ws/

Thank you for your time,

James

paul brian deberry
03-02-2014, 11:53 AM
Nicely done.

James Mulholland
03-07-2014, 02:25 PM
Thank you Paul. I'm glad you liked it.

Gauntlet
03-09-2014, 11:19 PM
Dark, gritty, moody and violent ... captured the tone of the gangster feel very nicely! The colors definitely added nice pop to everything. The two areas I'd recommend to work on would be the lettering (spacing between lines, and other details and the way the word balloons fit around the letters, etc.). The second would be regarding some art details such as vanishing points in some of the scenes. The first panel of the first page is awesome and I thought it set the tone nicely right from the start and the city backdrop is really cool. But then the vanishing points are extremely off like a cubism feel was intended. The second things I'd mention are small art details like the girl in the first panel, her right arm is ambiguously vague and ends up looking off. Same with the last page where the shoots -- somehow the art makes the arm look straight down by his side and he ends up firing from ... ? Shape of the head would be another one. If you're going for an exaggerated look, cool. But there's some where the shape is exaggeratedly different then there's most where some realism looks like the intention. Little bit inconsistent. Overall I think it was very well done. Thanks for sharing it!

nortonman
03-13-2014, 08:01 AM
It is well written, and it shows that you have a passion for the genre, but I didn't much care for the art. For me, it didn't fit well with the tone of the story. And also, I didn't really understand the significance of the photo he saw at the end. Good job though. I always like seeing people do their own comics.

mibodega
03-14-2014, 09:27 PM
Love the comic, well written, and the bgs and color look great. Alluding to what gauntlet said I think you need to work on perspective. It is very apparent in the office panels on pg 1, the perspective is off. Also, practice. Drawing heads a little more, look at skulls or a little exercise I did in art school is to find a good pic of a skull, use a light table to draw the face using the skull as reference to place the eyes, nose, etc. Try doing this from as many angles as possible and you will understand what you are drawing better.

Those are only things I could fine that needs work, but overall it looks great, the shadows BG look awesome.

ronin7
03-15-2014, 12:50 PM
The artwork cleanly tells the story, but the characters lack a definitive shape. People come in different sizes, but your characters looked too similar.

James Mulholland
03-17-2014, 10:39 AM
Thanks for the response everyone. I wasn't the artist on the book, it's credited on the page. But I will link him here so he can see your reviews on the comic. I was the writer and it was my first time lettering (it's something I want to use these web-comics to greatly improve at). Thanks so much for taking the time, A DEAD GOOD FRIEND part 2 is coming soon.

James Mulholland
03-19-2014, 01:16 PM
Hey everyone,

At the start of this month, I released my first web-comic, 'A DEAD GOOD FRIEND', the feedback was so positive and people wanted more of that world. I got an idea one night when I was in bed and now part 2 of the story is in production, due to be released in April.

Here is a teaser of panel one from the artist Henry Simon.http://jamesmulholland.tumblr.com/image/80076909619http://jamesmulholland.tumblr.com/image/80076909619

If you have not yet read A DEAD GOOD FRIEND or my 2nd web-comic, THREE ARROWS, FOUR TARGETS, then please check out this link to read them - Shortstories.webcomic.ws/

For more information, follow me at any of the links below.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/James_Mul1990

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/JamesMulhollandPage?ref=hl

Tumblr - http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard

Thanks for your time,

James

pandayboss
03-27-2014, 07:10 AM
Amazing!:D