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View Full Version : 4 page comic, online. Please read if you have 5 minutes.


James Mulholland
03-31-2014, 10:58 AM
Hey everyone. Here is my new webcomic 'Proud'. It's only a 4 page story, so if you have a couple of minutes, I'd really appreciate if you could give it a read. If you like it, then please share it around. If you haven't checked out my other stories, then please do. Feedback is appreciated. - http://Shortstories.webcomic.ws/comics/16/

If you want to keep up to date with stuff I'm doing, Follow me @ - https://www.facebook.com/JamesMulhollandPage OR https://twitter.com/James_Mul1990

Art and Colors by Caitlin Soliman. - http://salamispots.deviantart.com/

Bishop
03-31-2014, 11:50 AM
Oh, wow. That last panel took my breath away. Excellent storytelling. Very effective.

James Mulholland
03-31-2014, 12:26 PM
Thanks 'Bishop'. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank your for taking the time to read it, means a lot.

Rene A.
03-31-2014, 03:48 PM
Wow. Well done! Great art, clean storytelling and the story hits you at the very end in a way I wasn't expecting. My only nitpick? Page 2, panel 5: the pointer tail on the dialogue balloon "Where is he?"--it has a slightly thicker middle before it tapers out. Stuff like that drives me nuts! But that's only very minor, really. Overall, top notch.

James Mulholland
04-04-2014, 08:04 AM
Hey Rene,

Really glad you loved the story. I am new to lettering (only the stories on the site I linked). So I am using the webcomics as a way to improve my lettering and also improve my writing.

Thanks for the help on the tail of the balloon. I will make sure to fix that before I but the story into print.

Thanks,

James

crognus
04-08-2014, 12:29 PM
Loved it! Reminds me of Papo & Yo.

gummahfan
04-08-2014, 11:25 PM
I love it. I love how you can tell so much story without it feeling rushed in just a few pages. Good job

radiocult
04-10-2014, 10:25 PM
That's seriously awesome. That last panel really makes the whole story. It's amazing how much can be done in just 4 pages!

Jpah
04-11-2014, 01:01 AM
Beautiful story. Well done, sir.

James Mulholland
06-01-2014, 04:44 PM
Thanks everyone. That's really amazing to hear that you all enjoyed. It's my favorite comic, that I've written so far. I'm trying to get it made as a short film at the moment, here in Ireland. Thanks so much for taking the time. Glad I provided some enjoyment for you all.

Gilby
06-03-2014, 12:41 AM
Bravo! Love what you were able to accomplish in four pages. Really great stuff.

Gwlister
06-12-2014, 07:36 PM
EXCELLENT. Didn't see it coming -- I think the playful, cartoony style really sets up the reader to get blindsided by the ending. WHAM!

Love it.

Flex
06-22-2014, 02:53 PM
Loved it. Nice pacing and storytelling!

Steven Forbes
06-22-2014, 04:03 PM
This is a very well told story. I liked it a lot. I didn't see that last panel coming. Very well done.

But I'm an editor, and as such, some things popped out at me, and could be done better.

The first thing is the lettering. Generally, the crossbar I should only be used for the personal pronoun and acronyms. You use it a lot, except for P3, where you have a mixture. Get rid of all of them, except for the personal pronoun.

Watch your balloon tails. Try to make them as uniform as possible coming out of the balloons. (P2 panel 5 has a terribly wide tail.)

Speaking of P2 panel 5, I'm going to let go the fact that their mouths are covered/muffled, but they're able to talk normally. Why? Because this is a child's story, so I can see that logic. Otherwise, I'd call that a no-go.

P1, panel 1: that first comma should have been a period.

P2, panel 6: the word balloon coming from off panel is at a different angle than where the blast comes from. Your balloon should have been closer to the border, raised a bit closer to the blast, and the tail should have been near the same trajectory as the blast. They at least should have had the same origin point, if you were to follow both the blast and the tail off panel. Also, that tail should have been cut at the beginning of the border, not at the end of it.

Nitpicks, I know. But this is the last percentage that could take you over the top.

It's still a very good story. But it could be great.

Cmsmith4252
06-22-2014, 05:33 PM
Beautifully done!

James Mulholland
07-04-2014, 10:23 AM
Thanks everyone.

@Steven Forbes

Thanks for your feedback. I'm not a letterer and never will be, I only letter my own web-comics. My bigger projects (currently have my first graphic novel in production and a 32 page one shot) will be lettered by a professional.

Although, I will try my best to make things better. I will re-letter this comic as it will be going into a british anthology book.

Thank you so much,

James

James Mulholland
08-07-2014, 01:27 PM
Thanks a lot for all the positive feedback people. I really appreciate it. @ Stephen, I will make the changes you mentioned before I release book in print :)

Morganza
08-07-2014, 02:09 PM
That's really impressive for just 4 pages, great story and art!

James Mulholland
08-09-2014, 06:36 AM
Thanks man. Appreciate that. Glad you enjoyed :)

Stinty
08-11-2014, 04:17 AM
Absolutely fantastic! Well done. Like everyone else has mentioned, that last panel had a real emotional punch.

ld-airgrafix
08-12-2014, 02:47 AM
Bloody awesome and unfortunately true for alot of kids