View Full Version : Martian Murder Mystery

06-27-2014, 03:19 PM
Just wanted to show the initial pitch for our comic Martian Murder Mystery. I don't want to say much about it. I'm curious how these first seven pages grab you or don't. Would you keep reading based on this? What do you like? What do you hate? We all would appreciate the feedback.

Martian Murder Mystery - Issue #1
Written by John Ramos - Art by Vince Underwood
Colored by Fred C. Stresing - Lettering by Chas! Pangburn

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/176/1/1/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_01_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o01os.jpg

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2014/176/f/c/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_02_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o023x.jpg

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/176/d/5/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_03_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o02bg.jpg

http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2014/176/0/2/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_04_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o02lt.jpg

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/176/4/0/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_05_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o02vd.jpg

http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/176/e/e/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_06_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o0340.jpg

http://th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/178/1/5/martian_murder_mystery___issue_01___page_07_by_vin ceunderwood-d7o03ag.jpg

Again thank you for your feedback.

Also, if you like it and you have an extra dollar lying around and want to help get it made... tinyurl.com/l2jypge

06-27-2014, 03:38 PM
Solid work, guys! Nice pace and great storytelling. That initial page isn't really your best opener, and we've seen this opening sequence a lot of times. Still, clean, intriguing and strong. Something to think about for issue two.

I'd read on.


06-27-2014, 04:36 PM
I would buy this.

06-27-2014, 04:57 PM
Yep, I like it. Four dead lawyers, and all that you're asking for is a dollar? That's one Hell of a bargain, by any measure.

You could probably have gotten away with asking for a lot more, if they weren't Martian lawyers.

I checked out your deviantArt and Facebook galleries, Vince. They're pretty sparsely populated. What you have presented in this thread isn't particularly imaginative, art-wise, but the few pages on display here denote quality. The art, the lettering, and the coloring have a lot going for them. The writing requires more to be on display, to say the same thing about it, but that's the nature of writing and story telling.

I have to go and pick up some food, but I'll try to send you the dollar a little later, tonight.

06-27-2014, 10:02 PM
The title page says "muder".

I liked the quality of the coloring. Has a nice texture to it. And was pleased that the sky was rendered the color that the sky is on Mars.

I think the transition to the crime scene could use a good establishing shot because as is I could mistake it for the detective's office.

As someone on the look out for good sci-fi comics, I was a little let down that Mars sort of stopped being integral to the story after less than a page.

Steven Forbes
06-27-2014, 10:12 PM
I liked it, after I got off the second page. Overwriting there.

Fix that, and you'd have a better start.

However, I'd buy this.

Screwtape Jenkins
06-28-2014, 10:04 AM
I can dig it. I'd read on.

Four dead lawyers, and all that you're asking for is a dollar? That's one Hell of a bargain, by any measure.


06-30-2014, 12:21 AM
I got a little sidetracked. Sorry about the delay.

07-13-2014, 02:26 PM
Thank you all so much!