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Old 09-22-2009, 01:17 PM   #52
Dan Hill
Potential Scribe
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Worcester, England
Posts: 468
Dan Hill will become famous soon enoughDan Hill will become famous soon enough

I'm going to try and do at least one exercise from each of these sessions. I did the one describing the journey to work in nine panels. It was an interesting exercise and I was consciously thinking about the time difference between panels. When I'm writing normally this is never the case.

1)

It's early morning, the sky still slightly dark, the world at large has not quite woken up yet. Dressed in a smart shirt, tie, and trousers Dan leaves his house, closing the front door behind him.

2)

Dan stands under a bus stop sign at the side of the road. He looks at his watch, rolling his eyes.

3)

Dan stifles a yawn as he sits on a mostly empty bus. Outside the window, on the side of the road, groups of children in school uniform walk on the path being far too boisterous for this time in the morning.

4)

Dan walks through the hustle and bustle of a busy city sidewalk. Shops line the road on either side.The workers and office drones all head in the same direction.

5)

Dan walks through the automatic doors of a modern looking police station. A few shady, haggard looking characters sit on the steps leading up to the building.

6)

In the reception area of the police station Dan slides his ID through a card reader. Sitting on benches in the foyer, watching him with equal parts hate and interest, are more doomed souls.

7)

Inside a staff kitchen. Dan stirs a mug of steaming hot coffee. In the background other members of staff, and a few officers, stand around chatting.

8)

Dan climbs the steepest looking stairs known to man, his eyes focused intently on the cup of coffee he is carrying.

9)

Dan sits at his desk, a stack of reports, folders and logs by his left arm. A login screen with the police logo fills the monitor in front of him. He looks at his watch, rolling his eyes.

I also noticed that my time started to compress towards the end. This is more to do with me trying to add some variety to the panels than achieving some kind of chronal balance. Otherwise it would have been 1) leaving house 2) walking to bus stop 3)at bus stop 4) On bus 5)leaving bus 6)walking through city streets 7) walking up station steps 8) walking up stairs with coffee 9)at desk

Looking at that the second one seems more balanced, in the fact that there seems to be an equal amount of time between the panels rather than the first example where the time between panels starts to get less and less as they progress.

Wow. This is me rambling.



Looking forward to dialogue as well in the coming days.
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