Thanks for taking the time to comment, Alyssa. I honestly never thought about someone interpreting that panel that way, so thank you for pointing that out.
As for the dialogue needing work, I fully agree. As Steve pointed out, this is a resubmission. The script that was reviewed is actually the first script that was reviewed last year, not the resubmitted/reworked version.
Here is the original: TPG Week 157: When Stories Turn Into Hack Jobs
I will post the reworked version here so that readers may compare the two.
Also, Steve, just want to say that the Proving Grounds has been a invaluable tool for me. It has really helped me a lot with my scripting. Thanks muchly.
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