Thread: Nahga 2237 A.D
View Single Post
Old 08-02-2017, 05:10 PM   #10
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 158
gmartyt is on a distinguished road

Or like starting out with Trinity already cornered by cops and agents. This was intentional.
I don't mean to be a jerk (in other words, I'm going to be a jerk), but the Matrix doesn't open with Trinity already cornered by the cops. It starts with a phone conversation, then shows the cops raiding a building, and then shows Trinity. This all helps provide context for the audience. If the movie opened with Trinity already surrounded, people would have no idea what's going on, and not in a good way.

You do know shells are not the same thing as bullets, right? Bullets are fired out the barrel while shells fly out of the ejection port - and it's normal to have more than one shell casing in the air when you're rapid-firing.
Okay, you caught me (I never said I was smart). Even so, I want you to take a close look at your link. If you went tight on the gun in that picture, you wouldn't be able to see any of those casings, let alone two.

When talking about the dialog, I meant that the captions don't really add much. For example:

The gunshots scare them. But only so much. Need to get out of here.
We've seen the gunshots. We can see that the lions are startled in this very panel. I can assume that he doesn't want to stay in the lions' den. None of this adds anything.

I agree with Rin that this feels a little thin. That was the main issue I had with the opening page being only one panel. Your options are either to trim it down to a lower number of pages or add more panels to help fill it out. Personally, and I'm just throwing this out there, it might not be a bad idea to go with the whole Matrix opening you mentioned and start off with a few panels of the guards running through the mansion trying to find Nahga. This will also help get a lot of the important information out of the way pretty early on, like where they are and what's going on.

And no, images can't be posted to this particular sub-forum.

Hope this helps.
"You know, it's very easy to criticize."

"Fun too."
gmartyt is offline   Reply With Quote