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Old 05-18-2014, 12:49 PM   #11
Screwtape Jenkins
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 264
Screwtape Jenkins will become famous soon enough

Originally Posted by Alyssa View Post

Like Steven pointed out, your main character doesn't grab the audience at all. We're given no reason to want to follow her story. I'm not a professional like Steven, just a comic book reader, and that still stood out to me.
There's a bigger problem in that she's not the main character. The reason I started with her flashback is a boring, involved story that would only interest me, but this clarifies for me that I can't get away with starting off with a secondary character's back story.
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