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Old 04-07-2015, 12:26 PM   #8
SamRoads
Also known as Felix
 
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Cardiff, UK
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Thanks for the edits Steven and Sam, great job.

I work in Open Office. I always 'Save As' Word97 Doc, which puts it into a format which most folk can read. But not all.

Amit and I met many years ago, playing this kind of game at a high level! So I think it's fair to make the criticism that everyone at the tournament would be expecting people to play to win. And thus the punch is very unreasonable.

However, Steven is right on the money about this not being a story. One technique I use to try and work out if something is a story is to condense it into as few a words as possible. In this case:

A man competes in a tournament. He refuses to throw a game and gets punched.

This isn't a story. But it very nearly could have been. What if you start the story after the punch. Then the first explanation is why Wise got punched. Then, the story could peel back another layer to show why Wise didn't throw the game. And then peel back another layer to show some machination which shows the real (perhaps heroic) reason Wise didn't throw the game.

This kind of storytelling is key to a variety of films and shows about boxers throwing games, and why they did, or didn't. (Pulp Fiction)

Lastly, why use the 9 box structure? Alan Moore can do what he likes 'cos he's Alan Moore, but I'd want a really good reason before I did this. Maybe if I was writing something about someone in prison, and I wanted to give everything a contricted feeling. But this is a gaming tournament, so I feel there are loads of interesting things you could do with layout.
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