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#1 |
Freelance Editor
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: In the moment
Posts: 3,888
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TPG Week 222: Writing Challenge 7
![]() We also have Liam Hayes back in blue, while I'm the jerk in red. This is also the last entry of the writing challenge. Normally, I'd go over the rules of it, but as you'll soon see, Greg did it for me. So, let's all see how he did this week! Writing Challenge By Greg Thayer PAGE ONE (two panels) Panel 1. Daytime. Close-up of a computer screen. On the screen is a forum post from Digital Webbing. (A link to the post would be great.) TEXT(post): Okay, folks. It's been a while since we've done any challenges in here, and since one of our alumni needs help, I figured we'd start doing some. Here are the rules: The story cannot be longer than 5 pages. The story cannot be a tragedy. There must be an artificial intelligence involved. There must be at least 50 words of spoken dialogue. The word "enlightenment" must be in the dialogue. String cheese must be an object, not just mentioned. The challenge ends on 1/10/15. Post all stories in this thread. Let's have some fun! MIKE(OP): This really isn't my kinda thing... MATT(OP): I'm not asking you to do it for me. Panel 2. A small bedroom. Mike (early twenties, short, curly brown hair, polo shirt) is sitting in a computer chair at a desk, his right hand on the mouse. He is looking at the computer monitor in front of him. Matt (early twenties, long brown hair, band teeshirt and jeans) is sitting on the bed next to the computer desk. He is holding a piece of string cheese in his right hand. (Expressions? Body language? Act these guys.) Click here to read more.
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#2 | |||
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 158
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Thanks Steven and Liam for the edits.
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Thanks again for the edits. |
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#3 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Santa Fe New Mexico
Posts: 426
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I noticed this same thing in your script that I read. You would tell us an emotion and then keep telling us that emotion in each new panel. I think you would be better off describing facial expressions, that way your characters could have slight changes in emotion from panel to panel. It won't seem so static. Just a thought...
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#4 |
Also known as Felix
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Cardiff, UK
Posts: 308
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Great submission and wonderful editing from the dynamic duo. Thanks Liam and Steven!
I like the idea of the story, but rewrite it for more fun. At the least, have them going somewhere or doing something.
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#5 |
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Southampton, UK
Posts: 150
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On a separate note, why is the British Mr Hayes using American spelling? "Favorite. Humor." Has he emigrated?
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#6 |
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Allentown, Pennsylvania
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