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Old 07-15-2019, 08:26 AM   #1
GeeBeezy1
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"Lorreign" New post-apocalyptic comic

Greetings,

I am the artist and writer of a new post-apocalyptic comic called Lorreign.

Check out my website here...
www.lorreign4ever.com
Facebook page...
http://www.facebook.com/Lorreign-Com...05828793641194
Check out the cover below...


The synopsis...

On what seemed like an ordinary day, Lorraine Williams headed to her job as an executive chef at a small restaurant, expecting nothing unusual. She planned to order some produce, finish up paperwork, and motivate her staff to reach their monthly goals. Instead, the world as she knew it came to an end. Someone or something has caused everything to literally crumble around her. Now, the only job she has is to stay alive.

From the outside, there seems to be nothing special about Lorraine. But below her inconspicuous shell, there is an extremely resilient woman – a woman who has developed an uncanny ability to remain calm, adapt to adversity and thrive in an increasingly cruel world. But will Lorraine’s remarkable triumphs from the past be enough to survive new and present dangers and the unpredictable future?



Issue one is free to read on my site. Check it out here...
https://www.lorreign4ever.com/p/sample-pages.html

Check out some of the preview pages...







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Old 07-15-2019, 06:13 PM   #2
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The lettering is not very good. It takes away from the art, that I dig.
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Old 07-16-2019, 03:58 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paul brian deberry View Post
The lettering is not very good. It takes away from the art, that I dig.
Thanks for the feedback. Any suggestions for improvement?
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Old 07-16-2019, 03:26 PM   #4
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Looks like the pages are hand-drawn. Hand draw the balloons. Then head to Blambot.com and find a font that fits the story.

Two things to remember when lettering.

1. Balloons should be closer to a circle than an egg.
2. No, I's with crossbars.

https://blambot.com/pages/lettering-tips Spend some time reading over that link. Probably the best source for lettering on the internet.

Look at it like this.... you spent hours on a solid idea and art. Don't you think the same effort should be put into the lettering?
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Old 07-16-2019, 03:37 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paul brian deberry View Post
Looks like the pages are hand-drawn. Hand draw the balloons. Then head to Blambot.com and find a font that fits the story.

Two things to remember when lettering.

1. Balloons should be closer to a circle than an egg.
2. No, I's with crossbars.

https://blambot.com/pages/lettering-tips Spend some time reading over that link. Probably the best source for lettering on the internet.

Look at it like this.... you spent hours on a solid idea and art. Don't you think the same effort should be put into the lettering?
Thanks a lot. I'm going to go over this info and apply it to my lettering in issue two.
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Old 07-16-2019, 05:15 PM   #6
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There actually are some big issues with the lettering, but the above poster did not mention the biggest problems. One thing I've learned about feedback is that some people can tell something is wrong, but they can't tell you exactly what it is. And it's best for you to know exactly what it is. That's something to remember.

Whenever you can manage it (which should be most of the time), you want the tail of the balloon to point toward the mouth of the speaker. Pointing it in random places, like at chests, boobs, and necks, is enough of a distraction to take the reader out of the story, which is definitely something you don't want.

I also think you're pointing the tails of balloons off the panel too much, and it creates confusion in exactly who is speaking.

There are some other things you can do like putting more margins in your balloons, and the way you're leading your tails off panel isn't exactly right, or the way you see it done most of the time. Most of the time people connect the tail with the panel boarder.

I think you should be fine without hand drawing the balloons. Most people these days do not do that, and a huge amount of comics are hand drawn. But, I mean, you can if you want. Either doing them by hand or digital will work if you're doing them well.
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Old 07-16-2019, 05:54 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil Allen View Post
There actually are some big issues with the lettering, but the above poster did not mention the biggest problems. One thing I've learned about feedback is that some people can tell something is wrong, but they can't tell you exactly what it is. And it's best for you to know exactly what it is. That's something to remember.

Whenever you can manage it (which should be most of the time), you want the tail of the balloon to point toward the mouth of the speaker. Pointing it in random places, like at chests, boobs, and necks, is enough of a distraction to take the reader out of the story, which is definitely something you don't want.

I also think you're pointing the tails of balloons off the panel too much, and it creates confusion in exactly who is speaking.

There are some other things you can do like putting more margins in your balloons, and the way you're leading your tails off panel isn't exactly right, or the way you see it done most of the time. Most of the time people connect the tail with the panel boarder.

I think you should be fine without hand drawing the balloons. Most people these days do not do that, and a huge amount of comics are hand drawn. But, I mean, you can if you want. Either doing them by hand or digital will work if you're doing them well.
Thanks for the feedback. I'm mad because I just finished lettering issue 2 But I want to put out the best product possible so I've gotta take the lettering back to the drawing board.
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Old 07-16-2019, 07:23 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeeBeezy1 View Post
Thanks for the feedback. I'm mad because I just finished lettering issue 2 But I want to put out the best product possible so I've gotta take the lettering back to the drawing board.
Heh, yeah, I've definitely been there. It's all part of the process of getting better as a comic creator and getting your project better and better. It can definitely be a drag doing stuff over again, but in the end, I think it's worth it. The most important thing is you learn and get better.
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Old 07-17-2019, 05:23 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeeBeezy1 View Post
Thanks a lot. I'm going to go over this info and apply it to my lettering in issue two.
Sure thing. Be sure to post issue two. I dig the idea.
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Old 07-18-2019, 07:08 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by paul brian deberry View Post
Sure thing. Be sure to post issue two. I dig the idea.
Will do.
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