Harley Quinn

[marquisfire]

I think this is my first post here. Anyway this is my go at the Harley Quinn page. Looking back I could've changed some of the angles to get a better zig-zag flow across the panels, but all in all i'm happy. C & C are welcomed.

[TimR]

good subtle drawing in first panel
good use of neg space in panel 2
The whale size relative to Harley throws me off here.. Doesn't seem to work either realistically or cartoony.

[Magnus]

First time I see a page with 4 page-wide panels stacked on top.

A few things I see which doesn't work for me:
You've centered HQ in the middle of each panel, except in that last one where she's laying down, so her head it to the right.
That's a repetition that doesn't work for me. Another reason the repetition doesn't work is because her size isn't equal throughout. In panel 1, 3 and 4, she's the same size. But in panel 2, she's slightly smaller. That disrupts the repetition, as well.

The other problem with the page wide panels and having her in the middle is that there is a lot of room on the sides. Dead zones. Especially in panel 3, but also in the other panels. If there were dialogue and captions, okay, but as far as I recall, the script didn't mention any...? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Your camera angel is also straight on. If you were going for repetition, which I pointed out doesn't work at the moment, then the angels do work, but I'd assume that DC wants to see something more dynamic and versatile there.

I'd also like to see her in full figure, preferably in that first panel. Which gets tough when you've done the panel stacking.

The narrative in the panels though are really clear. Great job there. The whale is a problem, as has been mentioned, since everything else seems so real, its cartoony, small shape sticks out like a painful toe.

Really like the zippo and the line. Means you've thought it out. Great detail.

Hope that helps! Best of luck!

:M:

[Rob Norton]

i think there is a problem with the portrayal of the story in panel 2. if i remember the script right...the aligator are supposed to be ignoring her, much to her dismay. in your panel...it looks like they are stalking her...ready to strike, which is the opposite of what was written.

still very cool pages.

rob

[marquisfire]

Yeah (sigh) that whale threw me for a loop. I just couldn't get a really good grasp of the any reference photos on google. I now hate whales lol. In the future I'll make sure I take more time for practicing references I'm not comfortable with.

I'll definitely work on varying angels, sizes, shots and use of negative space in the future. I think the problem is that I've unknowingly placed restrictions on myself for these things and need to start thinking out side my know box again. However for the negative space I was trying to consider the possibility of word balloons, because this is what other artist have dinged me for in the past. I'll find a balance soon.

In regards to panel 2. I was not aware of that they were supposed to be ignoring her. If that is true then it is my error (to lazy to check now that it's done, but might redraw later.)

I would have liked to show full figures as well, but it was difficult with the panel stacking. There's another panel lay out i wanted to use (that I stole from Ivan Reis), but I thought i could take away from the story telling if i didn't know how it fit with the other pages.

Thank you all for the advise and well wishes I will definitely put it to good use.

[Rob Norton]

if i remember it right, the whole point was that no matter what she tried, she couldnt kill herself. like lightning was hitting EVERYwhere except where she was... and no matter what she did, like tickling the whale, it wouldnt eat her. it was the "gag" of it all.

still..nice art either way

rob