Go Back   Digital Webbing Forums > Talent Engine > Sequential Art Showcase

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-26-2018, 04:12 PM   #1
tostesXXIII
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Posts: 13
tostesXXIII is on a distinguished road

X-Men Samples

Based on Pepe Larraz's samples from 2008








tostesXXIII is offline   Reply With Quote
Connect With Facebook to "Like" This Thread

Old 10-29-2018, 05:11 AM   #2
Scribbly
Registered User
 
Scribbly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wicked Salem, MA
Posts: 4,982
Scribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud ofScribbly has much to be proud of

These samples are very good. The pages are plenty of dynamism!
What I don't get is your comment : "Based on Pepe Larraz's samples from 2008".
Larraz is a Spanish artist working for Marvel. How much of "based on Larraz's work" are these pages?
__________________
In Art, style is an intentional restriction.


https://www.deviantart.com/savideduardo
Scribbly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2018, 06:53 AM   #3
tostesXXIII
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Posts: 13
tostesXXIII is on a distinguished road

Hey! Thank you for your comment!

About the pages from Larraz, actually they are quite different haha I just took his pages to write a script and based on this script i did my pages.

The pages are from here: http://jldrawings.blogspot.com/2008/...-emailing.html
tostesXXIII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2018, 05:32 PM   #4
zombievoodoo1976
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 11
zombievoodoo1976 is on a distinguished road

These would be turned down, flat!..Not saying this to be a dick but there are problems..From anatomy to compositions...Reality check is a great motivator.
zombievoodoo1976 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2018, 08:31 PM   #5
12013
Rob Norton
 
12013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: utah
Posts: 661
12013 will become famous soon enough12013 will become famous soon enough

Quote:
Originally Posted by zombievoodoo1976 View Post
These would be turned down, flat!..Not saying this to be a dick but there are problems..From anatomy to compositions...Reality check is a great motivator.
umm..you may not be "saying it to be a dick", but the way you say it sure sounds like it. you can give an honest opinion saying the same thing without the "dick sounding" tone. its..seriously..not hard. or..you can be that guy, sure.

the original poster didn't say they were of pro quality. he just posted them to share and perhaps get constructive feedback.

"these would be turned down flat" is the opposite of constructive feedback.

offer some actual thoughts and ideas and suggestions, something to help the artist learn and grow and by extension, the rest of us that are reading and following along as well.
__________________
My art here...for anyone that wants to see..
https://robnor101.deviantart.com/gallery/
12013 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2018, 03:41 AM   #6
DarkOra
Cosmically Challenged
 
DarkOra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 271
DarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really nice

Quick reply on the first page (I'll try to get to the rest of them later). The first page is off to a rough start from a sequential storytelling standpoint. With the first panel everything flows to the left, which breaks the normal "Z" storytelling pattern. It does guide the readers a little more toward the second panel (which could be intentional), but that leads to the bigger issue of the tall panel on the right hand side with smaller panels on the left for progression. As soon as you hit that second panel, the eyes get drawn to the Sentinel to the right and you inadvertently come back to the explosion in panel 3, which feels out of place at this time. It would have been a little better to push the Sentinel reveal to a separate page (maybe even a splash page) and have the panel with the explosive blast be the last panel on the page as a page hook.

But I'd definitely be careful with a tall right-hand panel with a stack of panels to the left of it... that's very difficult to pull off from a storytelling perspective. I've seen it effectively used but it was mostly close-up shots of characters in the panels on the left (a character per panel) as they react to something big in the tall right-hand panel. There was no need for storytelling flow in that case because their reactions were all simultaneous to what was happening in the larger panel.

Also, in the first panel, it would feel more "natural" (for lack of a better word) if both characters were relaxed like Scott. Her stiffness in her posture and the flex of her fingers takes away from some of the peacefulness of the scene and adds a subconscious element of tension. The tension kind of prepares the reader for the conflict to come. If you can get them both relaxed and fully embrace the peacefulness of the scene, the serenity can help give a touch more impact to the ambush later in the page.

First page editor checklist from a quick glance:
  • Backgrounds? Check-ish (decent in the first panel but limited throughout the rest of the page).
  • Anatomy? Check (could be better displayed, but the bodies in space from the explosion does help alleviate concerns of stiff body drawing).
  • Perspective? Check
  • Hands? Check
  • Feet? Feels like they're hidden... I'd put this as a red flag to keep an eye out for in the rest of the pages.
  • Expressions? Check
  • Objects? Robot and park bench cover that fairly well, but it would be nice to see more.
  • Animals? Nope. Throwing in a jogger with a dog on a leash in the first panel could help strengthen this as a portfolio piece.
__________________
Jeffery Stevenson
Post-Traumatic Tech Disorder ... Twitter ... LinkedIn
DarkOra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2018, 07:38 AM   #7
tostesXXIII
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Posts: 13
tostesXXIII is on a distinguished road

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkOra View Post
Quick reply on the first page (I'll try to get to the rest of them later). The first page is off to a rough start from a sequential storytelling standpoint. With the first panel everything flows to the left, which breaks the normal "Z" storytelling pattern. It does guide the readers a little more toward the second panel (which could be intentional), but that leads to the bigger issue of the tall panel on the right hand side with smaller panels on the left for progression. As soon as you hit that second panel, the eyes get drawn to the Sentinel to the right and you inadvertently come back to the explosion in panel 3, which feels out of place at this time. It would have been a little better to push the Sentinel reveal to a separate page (maybe even a splash page) and have the panel with the explosive blast be the last panel on the page as a page hook.

But I'd definitely be careful with a tall right-hand panel with a stack of panels to the left of it... that's very difficult to pull off from a storytelling perspective. I've seen it effectively used but it was mostly close-up shots of characters in the panels on the left (a character per panel) as they react to something big in the tall right-hand panel. There was no need for storytelling flow in that case because their reactions were all simultaneous to what was happening in the larger panel.

Also, in the first panel, it would feel more "natural" (for lack of a better word) if both characters were relaxed like Scott. Her stiffness in her posture and the flex of her fingers takes away from some of the peacefulness of the scene and adds a subconscious element of tension. The tension kind of prepares the reader for the conflict to come. If you can get them both relaxed and fully embrace the peacefulness of the scene, the serenity can help give a touch more impact to the ambush later in the page.

First page editor checklist from a quick glance:
  • Backgrounds? Check-ish (decent in the first panel but limited throughout the rest of the page).
  • Anatomy? Check (could be better displayed, but the bodies in space from the explosion does help alleviate concerns of stiff body drawing).
  • Perspective? Check
  • Hands? Check
  • Feet? Feels like they're hidden... I'd put this as a red flag to keep an eye out for in the rest of the pages.
  • Expressions? Check
  • Objects? Robot and park bench cover that fairly well, but it would be nice to see more.
  • Animals? Nope. Throwing in a jogger with a dog on a leash in the first panel could help strengthen this as a portfolio piece.
Hey! Thank you Jeffrey for you reply very insightful and made me re-think a lot of the decisions i made in the first page

I can't wait to see your critics about the other pages, thank you very much!
tostesXXIII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2018, 07:40 AM   #8
tostesXXIII
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Posts: 13
tostesXXIII is on a distinguished road

Quote:
Originally Posted by zombievoodoo1976 View Post
These would be turned down, flat!..Not saying this to be a dick but there are problems..From anatomy to compositions...Reality check is a great motivator.
Hey thank you for your comment zombievoodoo1976. Could you point out the mistakes you said? It could help me a lot. Thanks
tostesXXIII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2018, 04:48 PM   #9
sevans
www.sevans.co.nz
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Nowheresville, New Zealand
Posts: 6,527
sevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to allsevans is a name known to all

No, he can't.
He hasn't offered any helpful crits yet.
__________________
Have a look at all my other work.... you won't regret it.
Well you might, but do it anyway!

https://sevans73.deviantart.com/gallery/

www.sevans.co.nz

www.darkarts.co.nz
sevans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2018, 01:03 AM   #10
DarkOra
Cosmically Challenged
 
DarkOra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 271
DarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really niceDarkOra is just really nice

With page two, we can see some inconsistencies with hands that were less noticeable on the first page (but seeing more of them on the second page brings us back to the first to double-check and some of these do show up on the first page as well). On page 2 if you look at Scott's hand on the ground in panel 1, the Sentinel's hands in panel 2, and Scott's flared out hand in panel 3; the thumbs look "stubby". While the thumb only has one joint in its extension away from the hand while the fingers have two joints, the length of the two bones in the thumb are both longer than any section of bone in the fingers. With some of these thumbs, you have those shortened. The other thing to note is that when you hold your hand up and look at it, the index finger and thumb look like a "J" (and flaring out the hand brings it closer to an "L"). With the Sentinel's hands (even though they're mechanical, they are supposed to be human-like), the edge of the index finger and thumb looks more like the curve in a crescent moon because your break into the thumb starts too high in the hand.

While your hands are better than a lot of artists, they are something people reviewing portfolios will key on, so building up your consistency with them can strengthen your portfolio. Odd piece of trivia... most self-taught artists when they learn to draw people tend to work on faces first followed by torsos, arms, legs, proportions, more detailed anatomy, and then finally, hands and feet. If an editor was pressed for time and wanted to eliminate submissions quickly thinking someone needs more work/practice, they can usually look to hands and feet first as a quick gauge.

With storytelling, one thing to keep an eye on is the transitioning between panels. When you go from panel 1 to panel 2, you basically rotated the position of the "camera" from the side of Scott to basically behind Scott (it's facing the same way Scott is now). It's a 90 degree rotation, so it's slightly jarring but still acceptable from a storytelling standpoint. When you go from panel 2 to panel 3 though, you flip everything 180 degrees. Most people aren't usually actively aware of these transitions when they read a comic, but their subconscious is. When I first skimmed through the pages, this point felt like a minor speed bump to me... I found myself pausing on it with some hesitation to go to the next panel. Without realizing it, the reader might feel like the comic reads slow (a few speed bumps) or choppy (too many speed bumps).

The other big break in the storytelling on page 2 is between panels 4 and 5. The blast sends Scott flying forward, but on the next panel, he's lying on his back (more of a logical speed bump for the subconscious). That panel does set up a good page hook, and the way the flow is set up, it provides a dramatic pause. On page 2 of a comic, flowing everything to the left on the last panel directs the readers eyes off the page instead of toward the next page, so this can cause a pause in the flow. Normally, you direct action to the right to lead into the next page and keep the story moving along, but this is a good example of breaking the rules for a little extra impact.

These may feel nitpicky, but awareness can help smooth out the rough edges to help make pages flow and read better. Also, once you have a good handle on directing the flow of a story and guiding the reader's eyes, you can use some of these options that normally cause speed bumps to better control the pace of the story. Want to slow things down for a dramatic and tense scene? You can lead the flow of the panels backwards consistently from panel to panel to help the reader's eyes linger for a little longer than normal. Looking for some more impact to a shocking reveal? You can use the camera rotation trick to spin things around 180 degrees to jar things subconsciously as well as visually.

I hope some of this helps. I'll see if I can get to pages 3 and 4 tomorrow night.
__________________
Jeffery Stevenson
Post-Traumatic Tech Disorder ... Twitter ... LinkedIn
DarkOra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2018, 04:52 PM   #11
tostesXXIII
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Posts: 13
tostesXXIII is on a distinguished road

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkOra View Post
With page two, we can see some inconsistencies with hands that were less noticeable on the first page (but seeing more of them on the second page brings us back to the first to double-check and some of these do show up on the first page as well). On page 2 if you look at Scott's hand on the ground in panel 1, the Sentinel's hands in panel 2, and Scott's flared out hand in panel 3; the thumbs look "stubby". While the thumb only has one joint in its extension away from the hand while the fingers have two joints, the length of the two bones in the thumb are both longer than any section of bone in the fingers. With some of these thumbs, you have those shortened. The other thing to note is that when you hold your hand up and look at it, the index finger and thumb look like a "J" (and flaring out the hand brings it closer to an "L"). With the Sentinel's hands (even though they're mechanical, they are supposed to be human-like), the edge of the index finger and thumb looks more like the curve in a crescent moon because your break into the thumb starts too high in the hand.

While your hands are better than a lot of artists, they are something people reviewing portfolios will key on, so building up your consistency with them can strengthen your portfolio. Odd piece of trivia... most self-taught artists when they learn to draw people tend to work on faces first followed by torsos, arms, legs, proportions, more detailed anatomy, and then finally, hands and feet. If an editor was pressed for time and wanted to eliminate submissions quickly thinking someone needs more work/practice, they can usually look to hands and feet first as a quick gauge.

With storytelling, one thing to keep an eye on is the transitioning between panels. When you go from panel 1 to panel 2, you basically rotated the position of the "camera" from the side of Scott to basically behind Scott (it's facing the same way Scott is now). It's a 90 degree rotation, so it's slightly jarring but still acceptable from a storytelling standpoint. When you go from panel 2 to panel 3 though, you flip everything 180 degrees. Most people aren't usually actively aware of these transitions when they read a comic, but their subconscious is. When I first skimmed through the pages, this point felt like a minor speed bump to me... I found myself pausing on it with some hesitation to go to the next panel. Without realizing it, the reader might feel like the comic reads slow (a few speed bumps) or choppy (too many speed bumps).

The other big break in the storytelling on page 2 is between panels 4 and 5. The blast sends Scott flying forward, but on the next panel, he's lying on his back (more of a logical speed bump for the subconscious). That panel does set up a good page hook, and the way the flow is set up, it provides a dramatic pause. On page 2 of a comic, flowing everything to the left on the last panel directs the readers eyes off the page instead of toward the next page, so this can cause a pause in the flow. Normally, you direct action to the right to lead into the next page and keep the story moving along, but this is a good example of breaking the rules for a little extra impact.

These may feel nitpicky, but awareness can help smooth out the rough edges to help make pages flow and read better. Also, once you have a good handle on directing the flow of a story and guiding the reader's eyes, you can use some of these options that normally cause speed bumps to better control the pace of the story. Want to slow things down for a dramatic and tense scene? You can lead the flow of the panels backwards consistently from panel to panel to help the reader's eyes linger for a little longer than normal. Looking for some more impact to a shocking reveal? You can use the camera rotation trick to spin things around 180 degrees to jar things subconsciously as well as visually.

I hope some of this helps. I'll see if I can get to pages 3 and 4 tomorrow night.
Oh my god Jeffrey your critics are so awesome Haha

I gotta say that i've learned a lot with you and i will apply everything that you said into my work.

I will post (in a new thread) some Batman Samples that i did before i posted this one and i will be so grateful iif you could give me some advices there.

Thanks a lot for your time and effort
tostesXXIII is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
marvel, sample pages, sequencial art, xmen

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:58 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
© 1997-2015 Digital Webbing, LLC