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Old 06-04-2018, 01:21 AM   #1
prabowo96
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Smile My Sample: ExtraOrdinary #00

Hello all,

It is my first time to post a thread into this forum. These are my three sample pages from my old project called ExtraOrdinary.

Page 01


Page 02


Page 03
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Old 06-04-2018, 01:50 AM   #2
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One thing that really stands out is all the males have the same chiselled jaw and faces. They all look alike, besides haircuts and beards. They all seem to be the same age.
Also in the group shot, two females on either side, seem to be looking toward the side, while everyone else looks towards the reader.
There is a guy falling and the bystanders arent shocked at all, one guy is even smiling.
Superheros head is too small for his body
Good thing is i can tell what is going on without the text, but watch the small details like expressions.
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Old 06-04-2018, 03:28 AM   #3
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Yes, the storytelling looks correct, so the most important part is well done.

Watch the details, proportions and acting of the characters as Id-airgrafix said. And I must add that the clipart looking of everything does not do your drawing a favour, IMO. Everything is extremely well separated by deadweight lines, but it lacks of grace. Don't use so much the line tool in your backgrounds, try to freehand everything you can when inking or use the brush with the perspective or ruler tool, instead of the line tool, and everything will look more artistic less "done by a machine". I'd also add that I would have put the 3rd vanishing point higher in the first panel to avoid the buildings in both sides to be falling into the scene (you got similar effect in the last panel of the same page too). In general, when selecting vanishing points try to separate them as much as you can, when they're too close they always deform the image you try to construct.

Keep at it
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Old 06-04-2018, 07:06 AM   #4
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I like your nice clean style and storytelling! I agree with the other guys input. It looks like everyone in this city is a model that spends a lot of time at the gym!

One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the crowd shots from page two. In each of those panels you have some people looking (I assume) towards the action, and then a couple of others looking off the left side of the page. Is there something over there that is more interesting than a guy falling from a crane and being caught by a superhero?
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Old 06-05-2018, 02:49 AM   #5
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Hello guys,

Sooo many thanks for the comments/critiques. It's very valuable to me. So, I need to improve in this area:
- Variation of people face and body shape.
- Try to freehand the lines
- Watch people action, especially when they are in the crowd.
- Vanishing point in perspective to make the building's fall looks more natural.
- Anatomy

Really appreciate them! I'll notice these inputs to improve my artworks.
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Last edited by prabowo96; 06-05-2018 at 02:51 AM. Reason: Add new point.
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Old 06-08-2018, 02:29 PM   #6
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I see what everyone is talking about..and I agree for the most part. BUT..i think..possibly..that if this were to be colored up right..it would look really good. nice and detailed and really neat.
in the world of black and white art..it is kinda...what everyone else said. so..i don't know.. still..you got some skills so... keep sharing.

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Old 06-08-2018, 09:54 PM   #7
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Yeah, you did get alot of crits, BUT the work is still very solid and a high standard.
Look forward to seeing more.
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