Creator Owned Sequentials - Page 2

MGordon · 09-07-2015, 06:57 AM

Hi DJA,

I'm a writer, so won't be able to offer up a whole load of insightful critiques from an artistic perspective...but what I can say is that, to me, your stuff looks incredible!

I love some of the angles you've chosen, and your panel layouts are very interesting. Even on the page that have talking heads, you've managed to present it in a visually dynamic way. You especially excel at drawing vehicles and character's body language.

So, all in all, dynamite stuff.

DJA · 09-07-2015, 01:35 PM

Thank you MGordon! I appreciate that : )

AndrewRitchie · 09-07-2015, 08:39 PM

Nice job with the page layout and focal points in each panel drawing the eye from panel to panel through the page. I also like the space around the characters. Nice work.

DJA · 09-08-2015, 04:30 PM

Thanks Andrew : )

DJA · 09-18-2015, 11:25 PM

Raventongue · 09-24-2015, 05:59 AM

These pages look great DJA! I like your style and your storytelling..

DJA · 10-03-2015, 02:36 PM

kong · 10-06-2015, 08:47 PM

Cool style you got!

DJA · 10-07-2015, 12:47 AM

Thank you Kong : )

luispb · 10-17-2015, 06:15 AM

Damn man. Wat are u gonna do with this. self publish or pitch it.

DJA · 10-17-2015, 09:34 PM

@luispb Thanks bro.That's a good question lol. Not sure. Most likely self publish. Was thinking of going webcomic but I love print so much . Been checking printing prices and trying to find a colorist.

DJA · 10-18-2015, 05:24 PM

DJA · 03-10-2016, 10:14 PM

Stopped drawing for a bit. Vision was bad. Finally filled a 10 year old prescription(with some added new degeneration lol) Back now.

DJA · 03-19-2016, 09:01 PM

or

MattTriano · 03-20-2016, 12:46 AM

Great work! Nice style, good storytelling. Clear, economic decisions.

I think you could reframe compositions so feet, knees, elbows, hands and heads are not cropped. There are exceptions, but rarely. Avoiding crops and tangents may require a re-organization of spatial relationships, even changing the shot or juxtaposing new elements that didn't occur to you at first. Those small but important corrections inspire lasting changes for the better.

Good use of ref, use more -- especially on mouths. Nice character and enviro designs, my only nitpick would be that some spaces feel mildly antiseptic. Important to show wear and age and uncleanliness in environments. I wonder about the logistics of tethering those guys to the airship in the first few pages; do they ever work indoors or around a lot of trees?

Last thing, these pages seem to be all bleed with little regard for trim. nor safe area. If these were printed, the information at the edges would be cropped by 1/8" and the panels that seem safe would very nearly touch the sides. Leave at least 1/2" safe area on all sides and in my experience, editors like minimal bleeds. Be selective, design the bleeds to reflect changes in story. One or two panels on a page can bleed, but they don't always have to do. Also important to design the spread -- the two facing pages in print -- so that bleeds and juxtaposition of elements are harmonious.

Thanks for sharing these!

Keep going.

Best,
M

10-06-2015, 08:47 PM	#23
kong Shrapnel collector... Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 5,111	Cool style you got! __________________ https://www.instagram.com/brett_woodz

03-20-2016, 12:46 AM	#30
MattTriano Storyteller for Comics Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: PHL PA USA Posts: 431	Great work! Nice style, good storytelling. Clear, economic decisions. I think you could reframe compositions so feet, knees, elbows, hands and heads are not cropped. There are exceptions, but rarely. Avoiding crops and tangents may require a re-organization of spatial relationships, even changing the shot or juxtaposing new elements that didn't occur to you at first. Those small but important corrections inspire lasting changes for the better. Good use of ref, use more -- especially on mouths. Nice character and enviro designs, my only nitpick would be that some spaces feel mildly antiseptic. Important to show wear and age and uncleanliness in environments. I wonder about the logistics of tethering those guys to the airship in the first few pages; do they ever work indoors or around a lot of trees? Last thing, these pages seem to be all bleed with little regard for trim. nor safe area. If these were printed, the information at the edges would be cropped by 1/8" and the panels that seem safe would very nearly touch the sides. Leave at least 1/2" safe area on all sides and in my experience, editors like minimal bleeds. Be selective, design the bleeds to reflect changes in story. One or two panels on a page can bleed, but they don't always have to do. Also important to design the spread -- the two facing pages in print -- so that bleeds and juxtaposition of elements are harmonious. Thanks for sharing these! Keep going. Best, M Last edited by MattTriano; 03-21-2016 at 09:17 AM.

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09-07-2015, 06:57 AM	#16
MGordon Registered User Join Date: Sep 2015 Posts: 10	Hi DJA, I'm a writer, so won't be able to offer up a whole load of insightful critiques from an artistic perspective...but what I can say is that, to me, your stuff looks incredible! I love some of the angles you've chosen, and your panel layouts are very interesting. Even on the page that have talking heads, you've managed to present it in a visually dynamic way. You especially excel at drawing vehicles and character's body language. So, all in all, dynamite stuff.

09-07-2015, 01:35 PM	#17
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211	Thank you MGordon! I appreciate that : )

09-07-2015, 08:39 PM	#18
AndrewRitchie Registered User Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 10	Nice job with the page layout and focal points in each panel drawing the eye from panel to panel through the page. I also like the space around the characters. Nice work.

09-08-2015, 04:30 PM	#19
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211	Thanks Andrew : )

09-18-2015, 11:25 PM	#20
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211

09-24-2015, 05:59 AM	#21
Raventongue Registered User Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 44	These pages look great DJA! I like your style and your storytelling..

10-03-2015, 02:36 PM	#22
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211

10-07-2015, 12:47 AM	#24
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211	Thank you Kong : )

10-17-2015, 06:15 AM	#25
luispb Registered User Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 57	Damn man. Wat are u gonna do with this. self publish or pitch it.

10-17-2015, 09:34 PM	#26
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211	@luispb Thanks bro.That's a good question lol. Not sure. Most likely self publish. Was thinking of going webcomic but I love print so much . Been checking printing prices and trying to find a colorist.

10-18-2015, 05:24 PM	#27
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211

03-10-2016, 10:14 PM	#28
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211	Stopped drawing for a bit. Vision was bad. Finally filled a 10 year old prescription(with some added new degeneration lol) Back now.

03-19-2016, 09:01 PM	#29
DJA Registered User Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Florida Posts: 211	or