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Old 05-19-2017, 08:05 PM   #1
quikdanny
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Spawn Pages!

Hey folks,

Here's five pages I just finished of SPAWN!

Any critiques or thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers!









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Old 05-20-2017, 07:42 PM   #2
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so ill just copy and paste my reply from the inker showcase where I saw this first, since no one ever looks over there..

so theres so crazy stuff goin on.. I have some thoughts..

first..did you do this ALL? meaning, this is the inker showcase, but are you the penciller as well? this is all you from the start to finish?

there is crazy amounts of detail going on...you draw like every brick and window and everything. that's really cool.
some nice shot choices in places.

but also some not so good shot choices.
I think there is a little bit to much "style" going on, trying to make the pages artsy and different, in ways that don't actually help anything and end up detracting from the overall flow. id say simplify a bit more on panel layouts and stuff like that.

that last shot of spawns head on page one looks really weird and his head all misshapen.

the next big shot of spawn is interesting, but to me it looks like he tripped and is falling off the roof.

the fighting storytelling is kinda confusing.
that shot of him pointing the guns right at us don't look anything like the guns hes holding in the previous shot...

some perspective issues.

but really, the detail is amazing and the inking is super slick and its obvious a lot of love and care went into these. id love to see more

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Old 05-22-2017, 08:46 PM   #3
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Rob,

Thanks for taking the time to sit and reply. Some great points and alot of consideration went into it and thanks for that!

Yes, its all me, pencils and inks etc.

I totally understand the too "artsy" comment. Makes alot of sense.

As for the gun, I struggled a small bit with the perspective and thats the best I could do. Great spot from you!

I always, always feel there is so so much more room for improvement. The next pages I do I will definitely post them and I look forward to more of your critiques!

Cheers,

Dan
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Old 05-29-2017, 09:07 PM   #4
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its a shame there isn't more conversation going on about these pages. you put so much into them. I still dig them.

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Old 05-30-2017, 02:54 AM   #5
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There's some really fun 90s storytelling here, a lot of drawing that's controlled and impressive but a little too locked down on shapes and compositions that aren't as well considered as the finished lineart seems to be. Reference everything.

Did you write this for sample?
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:35 AM   #6
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No worries Rob, hopefully I can just keep improving and catching some more peoples eyes along the way. I appreciate you checking them out!
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:38 AM   #7
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Hey Matt,

Yes, I just made these five pages up to try and show off some cool angles to tell a few action packed pages. These are not from a script!

Would you be willing to elaborate on your point?

Thanks for taking the time to look over these pages!

Cheers,
Dan
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:06 PM   #8
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Solid, a lot of work, tons of detail, but just lacking the final finish to them.

Good shots, easy to read, nice tone.....but as already stated, reference needed.
The opening shot with the vehicles, they look like plastic toys.
The close up on spawns foot....strange shape.
Some panels feel very static.
Some panels feel over rendered.

However, still some solid pages.
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Old 05-31-2017, 07:34 PM   #9
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Hey Sevans,

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me. Some great points you made and I appreciate that.

Would you be willing to go into further detail about which panels feel static and why?

And also what panels look over rendered.

Thanks again for taking time to look over my pages.

Cheers,

Dan
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Old 06-08-2017, 07:47 PM   #10
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Most of it is good stuff, but the balance of detail is heavy and it feels rigid. Less is sometimes more on your lines. In some places the lines start to look like textures and makes things feel meshed together so that the detail is working against you. Loosen up when detail isn't necessary. This will help your compositions have a focus object. The top view of the trucks is a bit odd. Specifically the wheels and the width. Most of this is great, but don't be afraid to experiment with looser, organic shapes.
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:10 AM   #11
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Thank you for you feedback. Definitely alot of information to take on board and work to get better on. Really appreciate it!
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