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Old 02-25-2013, 11:06 AM   #1
Clarkimus
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Digital Sci-Fi Manga Comic

Hey there,

I work in digital art and have been using it to make a comic. I've been an avid reader of comics my whole life but am still pretty new to the world of layout, word balloon placement, etc.

I know that digital art isn't everyone's cup of tea and it certainly can't capture the amazing intricacies that a good line artist can.

Your feedback on the sequential form would be really helpful:

Also I'm doing this in true Manga style so it is a right to left read.


Ciao,

Clark

www.clark-chamberlain.com

Last edited by Clarkimus; 02-25-2013 at 07:33 PM. Reason: Pics too big
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Old 02-25-2013, 02:53 PM   #2
Larime Taylor
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Want to try posting smaller versions? I'm on a HUGE screen with a big resolution, and I still have to scroll sideways. Hard to offer comments when you can't easily take in the work.
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Old 02-25-2013, 07:34 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larime Taylor View Post
Want to try posting smaller versions? I'm on a HUGE screen with a big resolution, and I still have to scroll sideways. Hard to offer comments when you can't easily take in the work.
Think that should work.
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Old 02-25-2013, 07:53 PM   #4
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Much better!

My main crit would be that the backgrounds and the characters don't mesh for me. Both are solid, but they're two completely different styles - the backgrounds look computer rendered, almost photographic and gritty, but the figures are more conventional manga style. I personally found it jarring, and it made it hard for me to get into the story. I've seen the cross-style blend work, but it doesn't quite work for me, here. My suggestion would be to either simplify and clean up the backgrounds a bit more, like the crisp lines of the characters, or grunge-up the characters to fit the backgrounds.
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:40 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larime Taylor View Post
Much better!

My main crit would be that the backgrounds and the characters don't mesh for me. Both are solid, but they're two completely different styles - the backgrounds look computer rendered, almost photographic and gritty, but the figures are more conventional manga style. I personally found it jarring, and it made it hard for me to get into the story. I've seen the cross-style blend work, but it doesn't quite work for me, here. My suggestion would be to either simplify and clean up the backgrounds a bit more, like the crisp lines of the characters, or grunge-up the characters to fit the backgrounds.
I appreciate that. It is certainly something I hadn't completely considered.
What's your take on the flow of the panels?
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:50 PM   #6
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Flow is tricky - this being traditional manga, it's 'backwards', so it's hard to say.

I like what you're doing with the panels for the most part - page one is nice, saving all that space to show the vast size of the station compared to the ship.

Page two doesn't work as well for me - you devote over half the page to the two walking in silence, then squeeze all the dialogue into three smaller panels, all of which have us staring at the back of their heads. I get the feeling that you're going for a tracking shot a la TV or film, where we're an observer trailing behind them, but comics are a collection of individual moments, of snapshots that capture story and character. I'd ditch one of the silent panels and spread the dialogue out a bit, and give us more of their faces, their expressions. Make them people to us.

Hope it helps!
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Old 02-25-2013, 09:55 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larime Taylor View Post
Page two doesn't work as well for me - you devote over half the page to the two walking in silence, then squeeze all the dialogue into three smaller panels, all of which have us staring at the back of their heads. I get the feeling that you're going for a tracking shot a la TV or film, where we're an observer trailing behind them, but comics are a collection of individual moments, of snapshots that capture story and character. I'd ditch one of the silent panels and spread the dialogue out a bit, and give us more of their faces, their expressions. Make them people to us.

Hope it helps!
It does help.
When I originally sketched it out I had the two walking down the hall faces forward with the perspective walking small to big but my background in TV/film said it looked weird because it went small-big-small-big.
This is a new expressive form to me and I want it to work and your comments are very helpful.
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Old 02-25-2013, 10:00 PM   #8
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I was right, then! and no problem, glad to help!
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:35 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larime Taylor View Post
Much better!

My main crit would be that the backgrounds and the characters don't mesh for me. Both are solid, but they're two completely different styles - the backgrounds look computer rendered, almost photographic and gritty, but the figures are more conventional manga style. I personally found it jarring, and it made it hard for me to get into the story. I've seen the cross-style blend work, but it doesn't quite work for me, here. My suggestion would be to either simplify and clean up the backgrounds a bit more, like the crisp lines of the characters, or grunge-up the characters to fit the backgrounds.
So looking closer the background really does have a cluttered feel to it.
Now this is just something that I worked up fast tonight so is by no way complete, but is it headed in the right direction to help the character and the background mesh better?



Here was the original panel for comparison:


In my hand drawn manga stuff and actually the other comic I'm working on I do a lot of white space or speed lines, but I feel like the ships in this story are characters too so I don't want to drop them from the majority of the panels like I'd do in other manga drawings.

Thanks for the help
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Old 02-26-2013, 02:28 AM   #10
Larime Taylor
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Honestly? I don't think so, because now you're losing the figures in the blacks.

What about turning off, or at least down, the texture mapping on the backgrounds?
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