Red Sonja Samples

[MattTriano]

Originally Posted by Marc Rosete

06

I don't quite understand the action on the page as is.

He's facing away from her, looking over his right shoulder when he punches him with her left hand? How did she get that angle on his chin? And why is she clenching her right hand in the next panel?

You chose the naked Red Sonja shot to make the most important on this page and that's fine, but between the incongruity of action and the gratuity of the upshot the page loses effect.

Simplify the bg of pnl 1 -- too much detail in the canopy of the trees to be seen from this angle and at night.

Use better ref for the sucker punch in pnl 3, choreograph the action as if you were there doing both parts and organize that information into a clear shot.

Her breasts look little wonky, play with rendering technique on her skin overall for a less severe effect. Let lines be open.

Good work overall but you have a few years of work left refining your structure and learning how to make pages before you'll start working with regularity -- if that's what you want. I asked how old you were because there's promise in your layouts but your cosmetics need work. If you're over 30 there's a lot more work to be done is all.

Play around with pencil technique, try to quicken your strokes for more energy and spontaneity. It's a good idea to work in layers, either tracing paper and a lightbox or digitally. Pick one thing on a page and draw the hell out of it. Read Klaus Janson's books on making comics, as well as anything by David Mazzucchelli and Alex Toth.

Keep going.

[Marc Rosete]

Really nice observations, you´re right about the sucker punch panel, i wanted to fit the hand and the face over the tall panel. i´ll have to re-do this page to better tell the story. Shure i´ll look for those books and work on refining pencils. and i still on my 20´s.

Thank´s again! i´ll keep posting until page 8 and then work on the corrections, to have a better portfolio pieces.

[Marc Rosete]

07

[Lightdragon]

Originally Posted by Marc Rosete

07

pretty much what Matt Triano said. the action is off also on this page.

if you look at panel 1 you see the way the scabbard is being thrown. then you look at panel 3. there is no explanation on how she was able to pic up the scabbard in that direction.

then you have the guy starting out using a sword with the left hand. then you see him using both hands( no problem here) but then you have him starting to use the other hand in combat. there is no indication that the guy uses both hands in sword play.

you need to look at basic sequentials . if it was only one page then it would be a minor problem. two or more pages as relooked in page 4 the horse she was getting off of is totally gone. you do beautiful artwork but without good story telling it means nothing.

[Marc Rosete]

Hey!! looks like i have a tons of work to do, anyway here´s next page, i shouldn´t rush it. now i don´t know if i should make corrections over this 8 pages or just keep going with new material.

08

[Rob Norton]

I think most people have addressed most concerns I would mention.

you draw really well, that's for sure, and this looks like a really fun story to draw.

concerning the last few pages, I am confused on a few things. first off I am curious if you are working from a script? if so, I would be questioning the purpose of having her grab the scabbard when its totally irrelevant to the overall conclusion of the scene. she doesn't do anything with it. it never comes into play. so why do you , the artist, have to waste time and space showing her grab it off the ground?
the guy should have just grabbed his sword and swung at Sonja, she ducks and racks his nuts with her knee. the end.
if this is a story you are writing, that is something to consider changing.

other than that, some small storytelling/composition things to work out. but overall... you are a very good artist.

rob

[Marc Rosete]

Thank´s Rob!
I took the original script from "Red Sonja 51" i haven´t seen the original yet, but i will, just to see how i they solve the script. Anyway i´ll keep practicing based on the comments i´ve received so far.

[MattTriano]

Originally Posted by Marc Rosete

... I don´t know if i should make corrections over this 8 pages or just keep going with new material...

Do new pages. Try something that you write, because story pages can ebb and flow across the narrative. For samples, you need multiple levels of storytelling and action to show that you're not just competent but accomplished at drawing a variety of scenes, people and events with clarity, economy.

Write the most fun 5 pages you can think of -- Who is fighting who? Where? When? Characters should change location at least once in samples, and ideally should change clothes in one or both settings. Show that you can draw fire, smoke, metal, stone, brick etc. Debris and destruction and violence aren't necessary but are good for conveying movement and continuity of actions.

Draw whatever you want and make sure it's work you're confident about showing. If you find that your samples aren't as good as you'd like by the end, don't try fixing them -- just write and draw another 5 page sample.

Keep going.