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Old 06-12-2019, 05:14 PM   #1
Durakken
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Express Agent #1, Page 1-5

Here's the first 5 pages of the script of Express Agent #1.
I posted the breakdown as 16 pages, I'm making this 20 pages, this lines up pretty much pg1 is added page, page 2-5 lines up to pg 1-4 of the breakdown.

Anyways, please tell me what you think?

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PAGE 1 (five panels)

Panel 1.
Splash page -
SIEG sits in his living room with his tablet in hand
Panel 2. Inset to Panel 1

SIEG’s tablet displays an Amazon like website’s product page. His stylus hovers over the cart showing it has 1 item in it
Panel 3. Magnification of Panel 2

SIEG’s stylus taps the cart.

1. SFX: TAP
Panel 4. Inset to Panel 1

Shows SIEG’s shipping Address <will have to decide this> and information. FPS Express is selected. His stylus hovers over the purchase button.
Panel 5. Magnification of Panel 4

SIEG’s stylus taps the purchase button.

2. SFX: TAP
PAGE 2 (seven panels)

Panel 1.
SIEG is near the door to his house when there is a knock at his door.

1. CAPTION: 2 days later…
2. SFX: KNOCK KNOCK
Panel 2.
SIEG opens the door.

3. SIEG: Who’s there--
Panel 3.
<CAMERA> behind SIEG, looking out the front door to see no one.
Panel 4.
SIEG opens the door to discover a package has been delivered marked with FPS logo on the shipping label
Panel 5.
SIEG runs out the door, jumping the steps, before the door can close behind him.

4. SIEG (TH): Where’s the mailman?
Panel 6.
<CAMERA> over the shoulder of SIEG looking down the street to the left.
Panel 7.
<CAMERA> over the shoulder of SIEG looking down the street to the right to find that the FPS truck is far in the distance just within sight.

5. SIEG: How in the world?!

PAGE 3 (nine panels)
Panel 1.
SIEG runs back up the steps to his house.
Panel 2.
<profile silhouette> SIEG opens his door, forgetting the package is there and trips.

1. SIEG: AHHHHH!
2. SFX: CRASH!!!
Panel 3.
SIEG lands upside down against the wall of his vestibule. <make house floor plan>
Panel 4.
SIEG jumps up.
Panel 5.
SIEG grabs the package runs back to where he was sitting the previous day. His tablet is nearby.
Panel 6.
SIEG tosses the package off to the side, not carelessly, but showing that it is of no real import to him.
Panel 7.
SIEG jumps into his seat.
Panel 8.
<CAMERA> over SIEG’s shoulder. The screen shows an order confirmation screen. His finger firmly pressing down on the button to confirm the shipment

3. SIEG: You can’t fool me!
Panel 9. Magnification of Panel 8
Closeup of FPS option for shipping being selected.

PAGE 4 (seven panels)
Panel 1.
Overhead shot of SIEG’s house. SIEG can be seen hidden behind several bushes.

1. CAPTION: 2 days later…
Panel 2.
FPS truck pulls up across the street, stopping in front of the house.
Panel 3.
Close up of MARQUIS’ foot as he steps out of the truck.
Panel 4.
Torso shot of MARQUIS. He adjusts his hat as he looks at SIEG’s house.

2. MARQUIS: Huh? This place again?
Panel 5.
MARQUIS walks across the street with the package hefted over his shoulder.
Panel 6.
MARQUIS set the package down next to him at the door as he knocks.

3. SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Panel 7.
Repeat Panel 6, but without MARQUIS.
PAGE 5 (four panels)
Panel 1.
Splash
MARQUIS running towards the truck, lightning trailing after him. In the background is SIEG still hidden behind the bushes.
Panel 2. Inset to Panel 1
MARQUIS in the FPS truck, door shut, and engine starting.

1. SFX: SLAM
2. SFX: BBRRRRMMM
Panel 3. Inset to Panel 1
The FPS truck drives off.

3. SFX: VRRRRMMMM
Panel 4. Inset to Panel 1
SIEG sat on the ground looking confused, as if in a daze.

4. SIEG: Wha-wha-what?!?!
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