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Old 11-03-2015, 12:47 AM   #1
Flightyfelon
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Cool Looking for Critique

Hello! I'm new to this site and to sequential art in general.
I'm working on a personal comic project and was hoping to get some critique on these pages since they're a little out-there. I want to make sure it's obvious what's going on and if anyone has any advice I'd be glad to hear it

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Old 11-03-2015, 06:00 AM   #2
Metalni
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Awesome drawing skills, but to avoid a confusion, obviously you need a better cam positions and frame layout.
Try with a storyboard first.
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Old 11-03-2015, 02:10 PM   #3
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Awesome drawing skills, but to avoid a confusion, obviously you need a better cam positions and frame layout.
Try with a storyboard first.
I've been working to get better at making the camera angles easier to read hehe. Where did you get confused? (if you don't mind elaborating)
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Old 11-03-2015, 03:02 PM   #4
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Some of the confusion results (I think) from the characters blending into the background. This might be fixed after inking/finishing and coloring, though.
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Old 11-03-2015, 03:57 PM   #5
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Yes, it will fix that... (I guess.)

But from my perspective, the main problem is a wrong choice of frames/panels in the layout.
And when you combine that with those crazy cam angles, it becomes pretty messy to see what happens there.
Plus, there is a few lines that blends from one frame to another.

Ok, like Stewart said, I guess that ink and colour will fix most of issues.
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Old 11-03-2015, 06:39 PM   #6
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Yeah my penciling style is very light. I do want to make everything clear right from the start, however, and I thank you both for your critiques!

The reason I went with this arrangement of panels is because I wanted to invoke some symmetry. That's also why the lines from the tower on the second page merge into the bandages of the falling skeleton.
I do agree that I probably should have gone with another approach though hehe.
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Old 11-03-2015, 06:59 PM   #7
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If you want, send me a script and I will sketch you a quick storyboard.
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Old 11-03-2015, 08:20 PM   #8
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If you want, send me a script and I will sketch you a quick storyboard.
Wow thank you! And sent.
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