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Old 06-02-2019, 04:44 PM   #1
paul brian deberry
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Lightbulb Tommy VS The Monster

PAGE ONE

1.
Title Card: Two-Page Tommy vs. The Monster! by J Simmons w/PB DeBerry

Close up on Tommyís face, looking a little depressed. The poor guy knows itís the first panel of his newest comic adventure and doesnít really want to have anything to do with it. Tommy is sitting on a bench on a city street.

In the background is a city.

CAPTION
MID-DAY! WE FIND OUR HERO READY TO FIGHT WHATEVER MONSTER IS ABOUT TO RAVAGE THE UNSUSPECTING CITY!

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
SURE. READY, WILLING, AND ABLE.


2.
A RUMBLE in the ground. A booming thatís nearly like an earthquake.

Pull out on Tommy, as heís put his arm over the bench heís sitting on to look behind him. Behind him, people are going nuts. Some are screaming and pointing off-panel, down the street at the horrible thing that it coming straight at them.

TOMMY
ITíS OK. EVERYONE RELAX.

TOMMY
THIS IS A COMIC BOOK. WITH ANY LUCK, THE ARTIST WILL THINK HE DID A SHITTY JOB AND ERASE EVERYTHING. OR DELETE IT.


3.
Tommy gets up from the bench and is stretching his back. This is from the angle where heís front and center and weíre looking down the street at a massive TARANTULA-GODZILLA thing that is thundering towards him. The monster is crushing buildings and everything in its path.

CAPTION
THE THING - THE MONSTER - ROARS AS IT SPOTS ITS PREY!

CAPTION
THE GENETICALLY ENHANCED BRAIN IN THE BEAST IS TRAINED ON TOMMYíS POWERS AND WILL NOT STOP UNTIL IT DEVOURS HIM.

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
GENETICALLY ENHANCED. THEREíS A TWIST.

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
GOD, WHY DOES MY BACK HURT. IíM A FUCKING COMIC BOOK CHARACTER. WHOíS WRITING THIS SHIT?

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
IíM THE MOST POWERFUL MAN ON THE PLANET, OR AT LEAST THATíS WHAT IíM SUPPOSED TO SAY IN THIS THOUGHT BALLOON. SO WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE A STIFF BACK?


4.
The Tarantula-Godzilla roars and lashes out with its legs. We see into its mouth with thousands of teeth. Fire brewing up from its throat.

CAPTION
THE MONSTER ROARS! THE THING IS READY TO EAT, READY TO ABSORB THE POWER OF THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD.


Page two

1.
The Tarantula-Godzilla has grabbed Tommy. It has him in some of its legs. The mouth of a thousand teeth is open and smoke and flames are coming out of the throat.

Tommy looks bored, but heís looking down at the people on the street.

TOMMY
ITíS OK. DONíT WORRY, PEOPLE.

TOMMY
I GOT THIS.


2.
The Tarantula-Godzilla chomps down on Tommy. We see this from the street view, people watching. For all they know, the monster just at a regular guy and will eat them next.

CAPTION
OUR HERO! DEFEATED! NOW NOTHING BUT DINNER FOR A MONSTER WHO WILL DESTROY THE ENTIRE PLANET!


3.
Sort of the same view as the last panel, but the Tarantula-Godzilla begins flying into the sky. Maybe it could crash through the corner of a building, causing some major damage to the structure and its body.

The thing is moving fast, and the people are stunned. The look on the Tarantula-Godzillaís face should be one of stunned shock.

CAPTION
BUT WHATíS THIS?


4.
In space, outside of the Earthís atmosphere. The Tarantula-Godzilla is in extreme pain, and being pushed into space at an alarming rate of speed from the inside.

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
MAN, THAT NARRATOR NEEDS TO SHUT UP.

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
AND HOW CAN THEY NEVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE COMICS?


5.
Two-Page Tommy is in the foreground, flying towards us and Earth.

In the background, the Tarantula-Godzilla is exploding into a mass of blood and monster guts.

CAPTION
HE DID IT! ONCE AGAIN OUR MIGHTY HERO HAS SAVED THE WORLD!

TOMMY (Thought balloon)
ONCE AGAIN MY ASS. THIS WAS THE VERY FIRST STORY.

THE END
__________________
P.B.DeBerry is a writer/letterer of words, soup enthusiast in Massachusetts with a talent for over thinking. This bio took him five hours to write. You can read more from P.B. at.. fisticuffswriting.com
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Old 06-02-2019, 04:50 PM   #2
paul brian deberry
is a MASShole
 
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: just out of reach
Posts: 3,726
paul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to beholdpaul brian deberry is a splendid one to behold

NOW! Right here is the proper way to write a script. Formatted near perfectly (I say near because it's tough to properly formate on this forum.) Everything in a script an artist would need to put pencil to paper.

The big wigs at *insert your favorite publisher* would be very proud.
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P.B.DeBerry is a writer/letterer of words, soup enthusiast in Massachusetts with a talent for over thinking. This bio took him five hours to write. You can read more from P.B. at.. fisticuffswriting.com
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Old 06-11-2019, 06:17 PM   #3
ld-airgrafix
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ld-airgrafix has a spectacular aura aboutld-airgrafix has a spectacular aura about

I rarely venture into this part of the forum. This is a really clean script, easy to follow, and the story is an icing on the cake.
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