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Old 06-04-2010, 08:23 AM   #1
Mike V
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Small Press Idol lettering

Hi,

I've only been lettering a short while, one of the main motivators behind me starting was the Small Press Idol 2010 contest, in which I am part of the team behind the comic The Time Travelling Foxtones.

I lettered the four pages required for this round, then went back and reworked the positioning, thanks to the helpful advice of Tom Orzechowski here on DW. Anyway, we've since done some rewrites on the dialogue, so I've redone the lettering, again, to reflect this. Now that I can post these pages publicly (SPI rules), I was hoping I could get some feedback on them, thanks.



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Old 06-04-2010, 09:33 AM   #2
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First panel, lose the hyphen between "go" and "time." But that's more a writing thing. Not your fault.

Get rid of the crossbar I in the first page third panel.

Fourth panel, the radio balloon is pointing to the tuner, but that's not where the sound comes from on a radio.

Second page second panel, lose the crossbar I in "it"

Second page fourth panel, she says "August 7th, 1954" ... I'd change that to read "August 7, 1954" -- lose the "th" ... again that's more of a writing thing.

Third page, third panel, I'd make "time warp" two words. Again, a writing thing, but letterers are usually mindful of these sorts of things.
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Old 06-04-2010, 01:04 PM   #3
Mike V
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Thanks Maverick.

I'll make those changes and upload them later. Also, I've been told my tails need work, any suggestions? I don't have the experience to spot the problems.

Oh, the writing is my fault actually
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Old 06-04-2010, 01:15 PM   #4
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tails look mostly alright to me, some are kinda thick, but I'm sure someone else here will chime in with some good suggestions on tails and balloon placement.

Good luck with the contest. I did SPI in 2008.
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Old 06-04-2010, 05:40 PM   #5
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Yeah, I think they could definitely be more consistent in thickness, I need to practice at that. Thanks again for your help, the images in the first post have been updated now to clear up those issues.

One thing, does it still read clearly that the radio balloon is from the radio voice over?
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Old 06-04-2010, 05:48 PM   #6
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A little tightening up of the space between lines would be a good thing as well.

First time I've officially seen someone use my HOMETOWN HERO font. Thanks!

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Old 06-04-2010, 05:55 PM   #7
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Do you mean making them thinner or the two lines of the tail more similar?

Yeah, as soon as I saw the Hometown Hero font, I thought it would be ideal for this comic. Nice to be the first too

Sorry for the flood of questions, just one other panel I was concerned about. Page 2 Panel 1, "Tracking temporal transformations etc", I sort of had to jam it into the space that was there. Does it look OK, or kind of completely ugly?
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Old 06-04-2010, 05:59 PM   #8
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I meant, close up the space between lines of text. Sorry. That should even fix your tightness on Pg2 P1.

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Old 06-04-2010, 07:02 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piekos
First time I've officially seen someone use my HOMETOWN HERO font. Thanks!
It's a great font -- I'm doing a strip right now for Egmont Sweden using it. I'm told the series may go to Image for US distribution, which would be fantastic. It's that bloody TT autolig that sold me, too!

Cheers

Jim
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Old 06-05-2010, 12:22 PM   #10
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looking good so far sir.


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Old 06-07-2010, 09:43 AM   #11
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Whoops, one more crossbar I to get rid of in "go time" .... that's the dangers of a writer typing in all caps. If you want convey emphasis to your letterer, try underline or bold in the script. Or make a note to increase the font size for that particular word/phrase by .5 or something.
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Old 06-09-2010, 05:07 AM   #12
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Missing a comma in the top panel.

BOOO! Bad mistake for a writer OR letterer. I'm both--you gotta proofread your work.

Ruins the reading experience. Yanks me out of the story right away.



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