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Old 04-10-2015, 10:50 AM   #1
Steven Forbes
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TPG Week 224: Padding and the 'Splode


Welcome back, one and all, to The Proving Grounds! This week, we have a new Brave One in Galen Schultz. We have Liam Hayes in blue, and I'm the one losing their mind in red, and we're all going to see how Galen does as he treads

High Water

PAGE ONE (six panels)

Panel 1 is a thin, full wide panel looking down from extreme distance, showing seagulls in flight. (Unclear. Are we looking down at the seagulls from extreme distance or are we looking at something in the extreme distance with sea gulls in foreground/mid ground. Not a big issue in itself, but clarity is key to getting your point across.) A high cliff at the end of a land mass with ocean surrounding it can be seen below and trailing into the far distance. This entire coastline is forty foot cliffs with very narrow sandy strips at their feet. The sun is a couple hours above the water, so shadows are long.

Panel 2 is a little thicker, full wide, showing a closer view of the cliff, which has a town (Longshore) a hundred yards from the edge of the cliff. (Hm... I'd have like to have seen this town in panel one. I think we should have, really.) There is a very thick wall (Material?) surrounding it, though it is crumbling (Stone then, I presume.) in places. Any buildings in the town are going to be squat, single-story affairs with roofs sloped away from the ocean (west, for reference). In the western edge of the town a raised scaffold in a deserted square can be seen with one man in the center (In the center of the scaffold or the square? I'll assume you meant square.), and three off in a group a little further away. Longshore is otherwise abandoned.

Panel 3 is the top-left quadrant for the next four panels. Show a close up of Ashley with a noose around his neck. Grimacing cough. (So he was on the scaffold? You need to be clearer.) Three days of stubble.

ASHLEY:

Cough (Put asterisks round that. Otherwise it looks like he's just saying cough, unless your letterer knows what they're doing.)

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