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sahithstiger@gmail.com
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 186
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Been working on this, but having some difficulty getting the preview drawn for submissions. Any feedback would be appreciated.
NAHGA 2237 A.D #01 NOTES: This is a "dystopian future" story which takes place in the near future, where cybernetic augmentation is very common. We'll be using a dark & humorous tone, so the art should reflect that. The city in the background is "Badnaam Mumbai" (translation: Ruined Mumbai); it was abandoned by the government after a contagion broke out and was settled by squatters and homeless – hence the nickname – who have worked out an economy of their own. There is a skyline shot at the end of this short story; it's up to the imagination. Our hero is Jai Vinasha Nahga, a thief who is "half a Robin Hood"; i.e. he steals from the rich and gives to himself. I picture Nahga as someone young - early twenties but with a lot of the psychological baggage that comes from surviving in a world like that. He doesn't get excited, angry or sad, doesn't yell, threaten, or gloat. He's cynical, cold, and has a why-should-I-give-a-crap attitude towards pretty much everything. He'll watch someone getting beaten up and walk away because it's none of his business and he doesn't want to be a hero. As a skilled burglar he has some significant parkour and acrobatic skills so he should be muscular but not like a bodybuilder, more like a gymnast. He's basically dystopian future Assassin, with a hood-and-mask outfit to meatch, which he wears during robberies. We introduce him in-medias-res as he is robbing a rich collector of rare artifacts/weapons/animals by breaking into his collection museum and stealing a particular object (yes, it's a McGuffin). This museum/zoo is indoors, sprawlingly huge with catwalks over the animal enclosure pits (from which Nahga falls into the lion pen) and four skylights on four corners of the roof, one of which he cuts a hole in to rappel down. As we open Nahga has acquired his target artifact and stolen it; but his stealth has been blown in the process and he's fighting the guards – in the first page we see him falling off the catwalk and into the lions' pen. We follow Nahga throughout the story – into the lion pen where he fights them off, then scales up the walls Jackie-Chan-style to deal with the guards, runs along the catwalk to the place where he rappelled down, uses the rope to pull himself up via a motor device on his belt, ends up on the roof and we wrap things up with an establishing shot of the future's dystopian city. Eight Page Preview PAGE 01 Panel 1: Middle of page; half-page size. Shadow scene, Nahga's shadowy silhouette (he's dressed in futuristic but dusty and old garb, something suitable for climbing and fighting) is falling off of what looks like a railing and toppling backward. He has a sword in his right hand and a pistol in his left. CAPTION Rest of the page can contain title and credits.Falling. TITLE NAHGA: 2237 A.D PAGE 02 Panel 1: 2/3rds of page, splash. We see that we are now inside the animal enclosures part of the building, and Nahga is falling BACKWARDS, holding his sword in his right hand and a pistol in his left. Even as he is falling, he's shooting at a couple of guys with assault rifles that are standing at the railing (they are the foreground) who are pulling back to avoid his fire. Oh, and of course, Nahga is falling into a pen of LIONS, two male and six female, who are looking up at their new snack which is falling out of the sky. CAPTION Panel 2:...and into the fire. Nahga lands on the ground inside the pen, his shoulder hitting the floor in pain. In the foreground, the silhouette of two lions can be seen, roaring. No dialogue. PAGE 03 Panel 1: The female lions are surrounding Nahga, who has his weapons held out, but does nothing offensive for the moment. CAPTION Panel 2:Traditionally, it's the female lions who hunt prey in the wild. View from behind Nahga. The bigger male lion is LEAPING towards him from the front, roaring in anger. CAPTION Panel 3:...the big guy thinks I'm a threat. Nahga KICKS the lion in the stomach, stopping it mid-air with a look of pain on its face. CAPTION I'll try not to disappoint. PAGE 04 Panel 1: Tight close on the pistol in Nahga's left hand. He's firing two shots up into the air. The shells can be seen flying out. No Dialogue. Panel 2: The lions, still circling Nahga, are startled. Nahga is putting his sword back into its sheathe on his back. CAPTION Panel 3:The gunshots scare them. But only so much. Need to get out of here. At the railing above n the catwalk, the two guards with rifles are arguing. GUARD #1 Don't shoot, you idiot! If you hit the lions, master's going to eat you alive! GUARD #2 Master won't give a %^&*! Don't you know who that is? Panel 4:That's Vinasha Nahga – The Destroyer - Nahga, having holstered the gun in his left hand, is scaling up the wall like Jackie Chan, climbing it up to the railing. CAPTION (GUARD #2) " - and he's taken the talisman!" PAGE 05 Panel 1: Nahga is flipping over the railing towards the two guys, who are halfway towards pointing their guns at him. GUARD #2 Panel 2:Shoot hi - Nahga draws his left handed pistol and SHOOTS GUARD #2 through the chest. It's not a kill shot - a little off to the upper left of the man's heart. CAPTION Panel 3:Don't think so. GUARD #1 has raised his gun to point it at Nahga, but his chances of pulling the trigger are diminished by the fact that Nahga has, in a single move, drawn his sword and SLICED through the guard's throat (right hand). GUARD #1 <gurgle> CAPTION Panel 4:Not good. Over head view. Nahga stands over the two guards; GUARD #1 is dead but #2 is writhing a bit, still alive. CAPTION Panel 4:Wanted to keep this clean. In and out, no bodies. GUARD #2 reaches for his rifle but Nahga is kicking it away. NAHGA Panel 5:Ah-ah-ah. Nahga SHOOTS GUARD #2 in the head. CAPTION Nobody's perfect. PAGE 06 & 07: Panel 1: Pull out and show the rest of the area in a large, splash panel. It's a combination of a zoo and museum, and several animals in pens and artifacts in cases can be seen. There's some kind of ceiling above us that we can't see. Nahga is running through the catwalks towards a thin nylon rope that's dangling from the unseen roof. CAPTION Panel 2:Rich little bastard holes up all the things he thinks is precious in the world. Nahga has reached the rope, and is attaching it to a little motor at his belt. No Dialogue. Panel 3: Same scene. Nahga is now being pulled upwards and out of our sight. No Dialogue. Panel 4: Close up on the talisman, also attached to Nahga's belt. CAPTION Panel 5:Such a tiny little thing, worth all that money. Nahga has reached the roof, where a clean, circular hole has been cut. He's kneeling next to it, gathering up the tools of his trade: a grapple gun, a glass cutter, a welding torch-looking thing, and the thin rope he used to get down there and then back up. CAPTION Especially these days - PAGE 08 Panel 1: Full page splash. View from behind Nahga as he is standing up on the roof, looking over the skyline in front of him; we get a glimpse of the city - it's been totally WRECKED. It's a futuristic dystopia. CAPTION - when there's not much special left in this world. End Preview
Last edited by SSTiger; 07-21-2017 at 08:06 AM. |
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